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The Funaral Parlor Caper ( an uncle Fossill Tale)

Story ID:10151
Written by:bobby o'neill mitchum (bio, contact, other stories)
Story type:Fiction
Location:Phenix city Alabama U.S.A.
Year:2014
Person:Self
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One Night long ago,I was visiting my Uncle fossill,we were sitting outside on the front porch of his small cabin which is tucked away in the foothills of the smokey mountains of tennessee listening to the lonesome sound of the whipporwills way back in the trees that surround his little farm.Now My Uncle Fossill loves to tell tales,especially when those tales consern old timey ways.Boy he said to me (my uncle fossill has always called me "boy" and never called me by my given name ) boy,he says,way back yonder when i was a boy like you,time was hard and it was difficult to get any kind of paying work well my uncle got a job cleaning up around ole Doc Bonebreakers farm,now that ole Doc was also the county undertaker as well and part of my Uncles job was to sweep up around the morgue before going home at night,this perticular night when he went into the morgue,he noticed a body laying on the table covered up with a sheet and figured it was waiting on an autopsy to be performed in the morning,well my uncle got to sweeping and a moping ,and being some what afraid of dead bodies he got to whistling and a humming to himself,and every once in awhile he would glance over at that body laying there and once or twice he could have sworn he saw it twitch,this just served to make him whistle louder and hum to himself louder and the louder he got the more that body seemed to twitch, it all culminated in that there body jumping up with that sheet all covering it and dancing around and screaming,well this scared my uncle so bad that he was confused and was a running into walls,tripping over tables and a scattering instruments all over that there morgue and in general acting as if the very devil was a chasing him he was screaming and that body was screaming and both of them was a bumping into each other and in general causing such a ruckus that it woke up the old hound dogs and they got to baying and the roosters got to crowing and even the cows were a bellering down in the pasture,finally the sheet fell off the dead body and it was no body but ols Doc bonebreaker himself,it seemed as if ole doc had worked late birthing a baby and was so tired when he came home that he had fallen asleep right there on that morgue table.of course my uncle was so shook up that he never went back to work there anymore :)