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Crab's Corner-Sexual Harassment The New Trend

Story ID:11476
Written by:Lisa Godin (bio, other stories)
Story type:Musings, Essays and Such
Location:Cleveland Ohio USA
Year:2017
Person:me
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Sexual harassment has become the new trend with the same non action!

Why is everyone so upset about sexual harassment! You have a problem with sexual harassment but child and adult women beauty pageants you have no problem with where women and girls are sexualized, made to dress skimpy and parade around like cattle before male judges. Beauty after all is touted as "sexy" isn't it?

Two Congresswomen griped about two male colleagues sexually harassing in testimony. Funny thing about that. Those two same women went on news shows and were complaining but refused to name names! Hard to stop it when you don't name names isn't it!

Women complain that times are different so they report sexual harassment years later. Different? How are times different when you're still called a liar? The term "allegedly" "alleged" is used. Men complain about the same thing and no questions asked! One woman saying she was sexually harassed and isn't taken seriously until several complain. One man complains about sexual harassment and it's automatically taken seriously, no "alleged" "allegedly" about it, no need for multiple men to complain, never has a man who complains about sexual harassment called a liar, and he's not expected to keep reams of documentation!

You then have those men who will rationalize. What he did to her is not as bad as what another did or blame her. Sexual harassment isn't acceptable if you use lewd language as unwanted attention as opposed to unwanted attention by putting your hands on a woman. Both are equally bad! It doesn't matter that politicians in lower ranks commit sexual harassment as opposed to one whose now President. One isn't worse both are! Lower ranking politicians who are forced out because of sexual harassment should apply to a President but isn't and no one demands it! It's politely asked that he resign which everyone knows he won't. He should be forced out as Trump isn't Royalty whose above everyone. Stop the poor me attitude, men, of what I did to her isn't as bad as what he did to her thinking, as usual, selfishly only about you, rather than what she was put through! It's not about you, guys, it's about her who was victimized!

Men report sexual harassment it's called a complaint. Women report sexual harassment it's called an "allegation" smacking of instant suspicion. The same thing but sexist treatment!

There's a prevailing condescension among some men. "Well, what next! I can't say hello to a woman without being accused of sexual harassment! I can't tell her how nice she looks without being accused of sexual harassment! My goodness, what's a man these days to do then!" Oh give me a break! Saying a civilized hello to a woman is different than propositioning her. We do know the difference! Saying the dress she's wearing has a pretty pattern or color is a lot different than staring at how short her skirt is or staring at her chest like she's a rack of lamb. We do know the difference! Not all women think it a compliment to be stared at like a rump roast, women who take that as a compliment complicate matters for those women who do find it demeaningly unacceptable, and if the difference has to be explained to men then it's a serious problem when he can't look at or address a woman like a human being.

It doesn't matter why she's there. She's entitled to go wherever she wants and whenever. She owes no explanation needs no babysitter and it's not her job to make sure he acts appropriately he should already do it! She's entitled to get just as drunk. That's no excuse to take advantage. It doesn't matter what clothes she's wearing. Control is entirely the man's responsibility and to blame clothes for the bad acts of a man is ignorant.

Well let's stop painting all men as predators is a rationalization. If men were taught as children to respect women and girls all men wouldn't pay for the bad acts of some because there'd be no problem to begin with.

Well she commits sexual harassment too! So what! The act by both need to stop. One isn't worse than the other. Men have a curious aversion to being criticized so they lash out at women who demand that they act appropriately. A woman who critizes a man what is she called? A "man hater"! He criticizes her no name calling. Darn you women complainers! It's all the fault of feminism! What is feminism? Equal rights for women. Equality for women means our gender doesn't make us inferior. Feminists are seen as constantly angry. You'd be constantly angry too if your gender were held to a different standard. We're supposed to be always kind and loving, taking care of others. Your needs must take second place. Feel guilty for wanting to take care of yourself for a change. Oh you're just selfish. We're entitled to be just as selfish. We don't need permission or approval. Anger is a normal human emotion not a hormone problem! We're entitled to do the same jobs as men and get equal pay for it. What jobs? A woman lawyer doing the same type of law, does the same hard work, should be paid the same as a man as should women doctors, soldiers, pilots, news anchors, surgeons, paramedics, police officers, teachers, scientists, astronauts, and a whole lot of other jobs. There shouldn't be such a thing as male dominated work and let's stop fooling ourselves by saying women are paid the same. One may say why should a woman firefighter be paid the same if she can't lift a heavy person and carry them to safety. If she has to drag someone down stairs clunking their head down each step out of a house fire she should be paid the same as a male firefighter who can heft that same person over a shoulder. The person gets saved, she's still risking her neck like a man, and that should be the point. If she's a soldier she should go through the same rigorous training be she on foot, flying a plane, and she should be a commander of troops. She deserves the same pay and the same respect in the military without fear of being sexually harassed or raped, just like her counterpart. Feminism is equality in everything. Feminism is hurled as an expletive by some forgetting that you don't need to be a woman to believe in it.

Should men take it personally when all men are looked upon as automatic sexual predators? What do they really react badly to? Being lumped in the predator category or that women shouldn't be abused? They don't care about the abuse of women. They care that they're not accused. Ever hear of a man going up to another man making nasty comments about a woman and stop it? I've never heard of it. Since you're not a predator it shouldn't prevent you from shutting up another because it's the right thing to do. But men won't. It only matters to them if the woman insulted is their sister, wife, or girlfriend. Why do you hate being criticized for your non action let alone by a woman?

Lawsuits have been settled by some women accusing sexual harassment. Interesting how money settles more than insisting the perpetrators be in jail!

There's a statute of limitations on rape and sexual harassment. Don't see anyone, man or woman lawmaker, changing it! Murder has no statute of limitations and the killer can be jailed years later!

A sexual predator who wants a Congress seat isn't kicked out of the race immediately. He's given the choice of continuing or dropping out. He shouldn't have that choice! Donald Trump should be forced to resign because of his abuse of women but is treated like Royalty who can do no wrong because of his political position. Donald Trump who boasted on tape being a sexual predator constantly shows his contempt of women, we see how he disrespects his wife expecting her to follow him subserviently down stairs instead of walking beside her, he climbs into a provided car and slams the door shut so Melania has to go around the car to another door and have it opened for her. She contentedly puts up with his blatant rudeness, we saw how Hillary Clinton didn't speak up as Trump shadowed her during the Debates as a form of intimidation that now she regrets in an interview I saw of her. She said nothing to him because she didn't want to appear rattled. You're not behaving badly for telling someone to back off you're too close. We refuse to teach girls and women that your personal space shouldn't be violated. We instead teach guilt of personal space violation. We better not say anything or he may be offended. Stop caring what he thinks! Crowding one's personal space is instinctively offensive and we need to stop training women and girls that the instinct to guard your personal space should be repressed. I guard mine and the two times it was violated did those men physically regret it and I couldn't have cared less what they thought.

Let's look where Trump is now! His predation and intimidation of women got him elected! It's dismissed. Why? We choose to believe it's normal. Too much work to change that view.

If women cared about sexual harassment they'd report it immediately. Don't hand me that garbage that times are different. Women are still villainized. It's NOT courage to report it it's your RIGHT, and stop caring what others might say. It happened so it's true! Name names! Demand arrest and stop being so worried about being the stereotypical woman whose a good girl as long as she shuts up!

I'm sick of the patronizing by outsiders and womens' lawyers demeaning women who report sexual harassment. You're called "brave" and "courageous". It's your RIGHT to report it and stand up for yourself and stop caring how others think of you! YOU were there, YOU know what happened and that's all that matters and stop letting others try to silence you! Something bad happened to you and you have the right to raise holy heck about it until something is done to punish. Waiting years feels better but it leads to no punishment. Stop worrying about his career, his reputation. You have the right to roar at jet engine volume to get the justice you deserve and to heck with those who have a problem with it. Being loud isn't a flaw. Not being believed because of your gender is sexist and it has to stop and it won't if you cower in a corner for twenty years when that person can't be punished. How dare you, fellow women, call it a compliment to be praised for standing up for yourself when it's your RIGHT! Reporting abuse isn't special, praise for it is demeaning and it's about time my fellow women acknowledged that.

If women cared about sexual harassment they would pursue arrest and conviction instead of lawsuit money. Money shouldn't compromise dignity.

All the reports of sexual harassment are the product of this sexist mysogynistic society that allows it that we refuse to acknowledge let alone change. It's more comfortable to pretend it's not happening only to become so artificially indignant when men of power exercize it more than the less powerful. Women are sexualized constantly and they allow it. How? They consider it a compliment if they're stared at because of their body reducing them into nothing more than a side of beef to be admired rather than being acknowledged as a fellow human being not body parts. When you're in a bar your I.Q. points don't attract, your articulation doesn't matter, your looks matter.

Advertising constantly depicts women as maids, cooks, nurturers. They're pushed into buying weight loss products to be more attractive rather than being accepted by others and accepting themselves the way they are, creams and dyes are pushed on women in commercials in society's constant barrage of messages that you can't age like everyone else so gray hair and wrinkles are seen on women as flaws and too many women buy into it.

Women refuse to say no or slap a man for violating her boundaries because she's taught that good girls don't lash out. Sons aren't taught young to respect women, women don't demand it, and daughters aren't taught to draw the line on being touched. They're taught fear over speaking out so they wait!

I read on a comment board the indignant rage from women being accused of wearing make up to appeal to men. You didn't wear make up when you were tots or in grade school. Some men complain about too much make up but how many of them would date a woman whose not painted up. Ever see a model without make up? Isn't make up touted as something to enhance your looks because what you have naturally isn't good enough? Do people really think women care about other womens' looks unless they're just as vain? Make up is there to attract men so stop denying it! Let's also remind ourselves that men don't walk around in blush, lipstick, eyeshadow, mascara, and pounds of foundation on their faces. Nor do you see men walking around in low cut shirts revealing chest or pants so tight that shows butt or shorts that expose their legs up to their eyelids or implants that enhance chest or rear to be stared at thinking it a compliment. All they're armed with are tired pick up lines.

Husbands don't treat their wives with respect. How? Some think their wives are possessions. I can beat her and she's supposed to take it. Had women not fought to criminalize spousal rape it would still be acceptable. That simple right had to be forced through. A man who kills his wife he gets out of prison. A woman who defends herself from domestic abuse and kills she's jailed for life. We still tell women that you must never defend yourself. What do some husbands say? She's witholding sex as a weapon. She has the right to not put out on demand! He expects her to clean the house, do the laundry, take care of the kids. Some are too lazy to find their own shirts and socks and expects her to. She wants spousal support she's yelled at. He wants it no problem. She abandons the family and she's the super villain. He runs out no problem. He's a single parent no problem. She's a single parent she's treated as if she can't raise kids on her own. He's a single dad no one spews how the kid needs a mother figure. She's a single parent everyone shouts how the kid needs a father figure, totally dismissing her as an important parental figure. Father kills his kid there's much less venom spilled against him than mom who does the same because she must be the stereotypical nurturer. How can you crab about sexual harassment against women when she's not even recognized as an important parental figure and we still have domestic abuse against women, when we villainize women but don't men doing the same bad things!

How many times has it been argued about sensitivity and sexual harassment classes to prevent it, while ignoring the fact that men aren't taught respect for girls from parents so they don't treat women as sexual objects as men, or teach girls that they have the right to draw lines never to be crossed so they'll carry that over as women without guilt! It starts at home!

We live in a sexist mysogynous society. You can't complain about sexual harassment and actually solve it if you refuse to eliminate sexism and mysogyny that's continually denied that perpetuates the maltreatment of women.

One woman's complaint pursued and punishment done prevents victimization against others and that's why women must report it when it happens and it's high time one complaint be as valued and acted upon. Instead we care more about defending his name and reputation allowing him the freedom to abuse more women. Awarded no value are women shamed and villainized for complaining about sexual harassment. Harassers are experts at exploiting fear and intimidation using whatever position of power they have be they no name boss, movie mogul, lower ranked politician or President. The problem needs to be stopped whether there's publicity or not! An abuser doesn't stop at one time and he must be thwarted after the first time so we don't end up with a long list before it's taken seriously!

There are far too many men who claim ignorance of what sexual harassment is and it's exasperating! You don't touch a woman without permission! It's a no brainer! You don't use crude sexual talk around women using them as the focal point. Another no brainer! You don't take pictures of women asleep like Al Franken using sexual actions and claim ignorance as he'd never do the same to a man. He apologized because he was caught and only apologized when his dismissive attitude of him not remembering the incident the same wasn't totally bought, he's yelled at mostly because of his political position, his excuse of not remembering the incident the same which is an all too common deflection is just another example of how men try to rationalize bad behavior. Apologizing doesn't make up for his stupidity simply because you were caught. He should've known better! Politicians whining their regret over ousting Al Franken is just another example of shamelessly diminishing the seriousness of sexual harassment as not being a problem after all depending on what rank the victimizer holds.

You don't stare or make lewd comments about a woman's body to her face or to your friends. She's a human being not pieces parts. Another no brainer! You observe a woman's boundaries automatically. You shouldn't have to be told. If she tells you to back off, not interested, as she's not to be treated like prey to be hunted, she doesn't have to explain, debate, or defend herself! You stop looking at women as a sexual object. So, don't men, feign ignorance over what sexual harassment is. Your need for unwanted advances, your need to objectify doesn't extend to women and girls.

Every few years sexual harassment debate arises and nothing is done.

Lip service about sexual harassment changes nothing!