how uncle fossil came to live in Alabama

Uncle Fossil was fidgeting around in his garden
one day when aunt whinnie called to him from he the veranda,"hay thar fossil",she called
yew better get up here and tend to this heiffer,fore she goes right through that new fence ya built!Now uncle fossil was the sort of person that didn't take to work,he was what most people would call a self made man,and he didn't fancy making much outta himself,so he just kinda squinted up at the sun and spat a long stream of tobacco juice at a beetle crawling across the ground,wiped the excess spital off his greying beard and spoke under his breath," well,its about time for me to move on down to alabama and see the reletives,i reckon.He went slowly up the path to the old log cabin in which he and his spinster sister occupied in middle tennesee,upon entering the house,he spied a knapsack on the bed,whinnie had already packed it and laid it out for him.He wondered to himself if that old hunk of junk he had bought would make it all the way to alabama anyway.
He went out to the barn,placed the crank in the proper place and turned it with a vigirous twisting motion,the old motor purred to life,and uncle fossil was off to alabama,He got out on the freeway and marveled at how the wind rushed in his ears,he could see the trees flashing by on the left,and the trees flashing by on the right and he was amazed at how the little white dots in the middle of the road seemed to meld into one long line,it was almost hypnotizing to his mind and he was exhilirated!My my he thought to himself,this old thing can really get on down the road!As he crossed the state line into Alabama,an alabama trooper pulled up beside him,and began to wildly flail his arms at uncle fossil,uncle fossil just thought he was being friendly and waved back,the trooper fell behind uncle fossil and sounded his police sirine,uncle fossil revved his motor and hollered yeehawww!the trooper pulled up beside uncle fossil once more and screamed at him to pull the thing over!with a few expletives extra to boot,hey fellow! cried the troopr,if that *%##! tractor cant go more than 15 miles an hour,get it off the #!**% highway!And thats how my uncle fossil came to live in Alabama. (the beginning)

Story ID:	1805
Written by:	Bobby O'neill Mitchum (bio, contact, other stories)
Story type:	Fiction
Location:	Phenix city Alabama U.S.A.
Year:	2007
Person:	SELF