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I went to a shelter the other day,it was not a shelter for the homeless,but a shelter for battered women,there i saw women who had been beaten by thier husbands and abused by thier sweethearts,i know that this is supposed to be a happy time of year,when we are supposed to be with our friends and family,however if love hurts,what are you supposed to do?there was a poster on the wall,a poster of a coffin with flowers all around it,the caption read,"she only recieved flowers once" or words to that affect,i wonder what people are supposed to do if the police are not responsive to pleas for help when a woman calls them?I know that there has been a lot of publicity about battered women in the news,but i also know that the law is almost helpless if the woman dose not sign an arrest warrant,why would she not sign one?Because these women are largely isolated by thier mates,so isolated that even being with an abusive husband is better than being alone.They are not allowed to have a lot of contact with friends and family by the abuser,they always believe that things will get better,but this is part and parcel of why some abusers are never bought to justice,because the abused fear them so much that they will not sign a warrant,if the abusing husband is arrested,he will spend maybe 12 hours in confinement,then he is released and 9 out of 10 times he returns to his wife to do further harm.I have seen time and time again where the only time we hear of an abused woman is when her husband kills her or she kills her husband,then we all say what a shame and why didn't she get help before this happened,well the truth is that a lot of these women probably did seek help only to be told that the arrest could not,or would not happen,or that he will only spend a few hours in confinement,so she says to herself "whats the use then?"Then too,there is the psychology of the abused,who sometimes think that the abuser is right,that she "deserved" what she got,in my opinion,no one "deserves" to be beaten.Then we have the "why dont she get a divorce" people,these people always mean well but know hardly anything about being abused,they do not know of the lonely lives these women lead,nor do they seem to care,they seem to think that there is an easy way to get out of a bad marriage,but it is never that simple,again it is the PSYCHOLOGY" of the abused that needs to be addresed,not the why dont she just leave him,that is a simplistic way of looking at things,there is no easy or quick answers,what we can do however is support these women,support them with counceling,food and needs,mostly i think a lot of times all they need is just a shoulder to lean on in order to get back in control of thier lives. more on the subject later...
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