How Two Irishmen Invented The Wheel

I have it from reliable sources,that there was a time in that fabled land of Eire,and in fact a time when in the whole wide world,that there was not a wheel to be found,nor in fact,did even an idea of a wheel exist,so that if you had to transport a heavy load from say Dublin to Sligo,then you would have to take only half a load and it would take twice as long seeing as you must walk the whole long way.Now it seems that a landed gentleman from England had purchased a field from Pat,a young and very astute lad and a true son of Erin,he had sold that field to the Englishman because it was very rocky,and the fact of the matter is,that it had so many rocks in it that nothing else would grow there.There were small rocks,and huge rocks,tiney rocks and even some intermediate rocks,indeed there were rocks of all shapes and sizes.
Now it seems thast Pat and Mike were sitting in the only Pub in Dublin one fine afternoon,enjoying as it were,a pint or two of Guiness,paid for no doubt,by the very money Pat had recieved from the English Gentleman for the purchase of the rocky field,and them having a good laugh too at that gentlemans inability to distinguish good land from poor.When up marches that self same gentleman himself dressed in a fancy bowler hat and carrying an umbrella with a copy of the English Times tucked under his arm.Pat,he says to Pat,I will pay you good wages if you will remove those rocks in that great rocky field which i recently purchased from you,furthermore,i will pay you by the pound! So,since Pat was a very astute young man,and a true son of Erin,he forthwith accepts the Englishman's offer of employment.
The Englishman leaves after Pat promises to be in the field early the next day.Afetr his departure Mike says to Pat,Good Lord man! are ye daft!?for you will be working in that field when you are an old man,and not only you,but your Children as well,Faith man! there are that many rocks in that field!Ah now,replies Pat,tis true sure enough that the field has a great many rocks in it,but i have such a grand plan now,whereby we can remove twice as many rocks from that field in half the time,in fact,it is so great a plan that no living irishman has ever thought of it!both you and i will be able to retire and live like kings,and take our leisure to boot.Ah sure now Pat,says Mike,and what does this grand plan envolve?Oh sure now Mike,replies Pat,tis the wheel barrow that i have invented!
A wheel barrow is it then?well now Pat,and how does it work?Well Mike,just be in the field early tomorrow,and it will be me showing ya,replies Pat.
So early the next morning Pat and Mike are in the Englishman's field,and Mike begans loading rocks into Pat's wheel barrow,and Pat starts carting them down a hill to the Sea,they carted small ones and huge ones and tiney ones and even some intermediate ones also,dumping them over a clift into the sea.
When after several hundred loads of rocks had been taken and dumped into the sea,Pat ask Mike if he would care to take a turn at such easy work,sure says Mike,whereupon Pat attempts to hand the cart over to Mike,the heavily loaded cart begans to roll unattended down through the rocky field,it smashed into large rocks,and it hit some small rocks and even mananged to sideswipe a few intermediate rocks as well,near the bottom of the hill it mananged to turn itself over,scattering it's huge load of rocks into the sea,and there they can still be seen today,however these days they are better known as The Devils Causeway,so called in order to disguise the true nature of them from nosey American tourist who might go spreading rumors,in light of further events of which i now relate.
When the run away cart came to rest with it's last load of rocks scattered in the sea,Mike and Pat approached the situation in true irish fashion.First Mike shouted at Pat that he had ruined the wheelbarrow by knocking all four corners off the wheel,then they engaged in a great fist fight,then they sat down and each had a good cry over the lost wages of the Englishman then they sang songs of Irish Rebellion.Finally Pat says to Mike,lets give the wheel to the Englishman,He wont know tis broke,never having seen a wheel atall,this they did,and it is reported,by very reliable sources that that Gentleman made a small fortune by renting it out to a lassie named Mollie Malone who placed it on her fish cart and wheeled it around Dublin selling cockles and musssels.It is also reported to me that the Englishman,in true English gratitude,gave Mike and Pat each 3rd class tickets on the "Titanic" and they reportedly sailed to America,and are now living the life of Riley in that far and distant land...

Story ID:	3747
Written by:	Bobby O'neill Mitchum (bio, contact, other stories)
Story type:	Fiction
Location:	phenix city alabama u.s.a.
Year:	2008
Person:	self