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Over 50 and Needing a Laugh?

Story ID:5298
Written by:Suzana Margaret Megles (bio, contact, other stories)
Story type:Musings, Essays and Such
Location:various various usa
Year:2002
Person:various
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I have been going through some year 2002 e-mails I saved. This one sent to me
by Maria I found so enjoyable and funny. Of course, I think you have to be
a certain age to appreciate this humor. So, you young folks can skip this
one for now. I'm sorry I can't give credit
to the writer because I don't know who wrote it.

God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good
fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Now that I'm 'older' (but refuse to grow up), here's what I've discovered:

1. Started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.

3. I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart.

4. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...

4. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...

5. All reports are in; life is now officially unfair.

6. If all is not lost, where is it?

7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

8. Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.

9. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few...

10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

13. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in
the bathroom.

14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my
knees.

15. When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to
play chess?

16. It's not hard to meet expenses...they're everywhere.

17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter..
I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm here after.

19. I AM UNABLE TO REMEMBER IF I HAVE MAILED THIS TO YOU OR NOT!

20. Funny, I don't remember being,....absent minded...

Now I think you're supposed to send this to 5 or 6, maybe 10, oh send it to a
bunch of your friends if you can remember who they are.

Then something is supposed to happen, I think. Maybe you get you memory
back.