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Torture in America

Story ID:5429
Written by:John Ward (bio, contact, other stories)
Story type:Musings, Essays and Such
Location:Washington and the World USA and the World
Year:2009
Person:The US Government
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I watched President Barak Obama’s address to the General Assembly of the United Nations Organization. His speech was clear, forceful, patriotic and without apology. One thing he said, which garnered the first of many rounds of applause, was: “On my first day in office, I prohibited… the use of torture by the United States of America.” This got me thinking. Why, in the name heaven, would the United States have to torture at all? Thank God it was only water-boarding. What if the CIA had used draconian methods like forcing prisoners to listen to Rush Limbaugh for hours?

During the Second World War, after the enigma machine had been found and the allies were decoding all the German High Command’s encrypted messages, the British built decoy cities, near cities that Germany would target.

Most bombing raids were at night and relied on visual cues from the ground, as there were no global positioning systems yet. One example is Sheffield in England. Sheffield, a very industrial city which produced steel products, built a whole replica of its town out of wood, nearby. The replica was complete with lines that ran along sparking at intervals to simulate the sparking of a moving tram’s collector pole. Trenches in the replica city included pyrotechnic flashes to imitate furnaces and steam locomotives.

In North Africa the British decoded a message that a town, held by the Allies was to be bombed by the Luftwaffe. They immediately gathered British theatrical producers and set builders and, in the space of a couple of days, they built an entire replica of the North African town, about two miles from the original. When the night time bomber raid arrived, they dropped their entire ordinance on the decoy.

Between Hollywood and Disney, The United States of America has two of the world’s most sophisticated dream making, reality shifting, industries ever known to man. Imagine transporting a modern movie like “Independence Day” with all its special effects back to the 1940s! If Orson Wells could cause mass panic by turning Jules Verne’s “War of the Worlds” into a radio play, imagine how those folks in the 1940s would react to some of the special effects available today!

Now imagine what could be done with half-crazed terrorists who are expecting to be tortured, killed and then ushered into paradise to have chai with the prophet and claim their seven virgins!

If you know your enemy, there is absolutely no need for torture. Here is my scenario to gather information from a terrorist: The detainee is given a delicious meal of lamb, couscous with a garnish of Rohypnol. When he awakes, with no memory of what happened, he finds himself in an elaborate Hollywood set festooned with veils and cushions, a fountain, and several belly dancers.

He has been woken, gently, by one of the seven virgins he will enjoy. We know she is some patriotic porn star under contract to the government, but to him she is one of the most beautiful women he has ever seen. She indicates that she cannot speak (a very attractive characteristic to a fundamentalist) and leads him through veils to another chamber where he meets an Arab American, dressed as the equivalent of a Muslim angel, who appears as if by magic. We get Chris Angel or David Copperfield to arrange this trick. The man greets him in Arabic and says that soon he will meet the Prophet and quite possibly be allowed to gaze on the visage of Allah himself!

First, he must go through the “sacred purging process.” “What is that?” he asks. He is invited to sit on gold embroidered cushions as two lovely “virgins” with voluminous breasts enter and start feeding him grapes and spiked ambrosia. It is explained to him by the angel that to fully understand, accept and appreciate paradise, a man must empty his mind of all that is secular, mundane and of the other world. “For example” the Angel might say “we know you were a fighter against the Infidel and that they have taken your life brother, which is why you are here. We are proud of you, but you must speak and empty your mind of all that you know from that place into this holy digital audio tape recorder, to cleanse yourself enough to meet the Prophet Muhammad, his name be praised. Start by speaking of your training in the Mujahidin and continue. It will take time, but you have all eternity now and your virgins await you with baited breath and girded loins.”

Between the lure of fidgeting virgins, a visit by Muhammad, the special effects that convince him he’s in paradise and the spiked Ambrosia, it would not take long to find out every fact this man had in his tightly turbaned head, no matter what his age or how skeptical a person he was “on Earth.” If he resists at all, give him a little taste of what is in store for him, any of the porn stars will do it for a bonus and: some of these holy Jihad warriors are quite handsome anyway. Perhaps a little Nitrous Oxide might be pumped into the meeting room so that there is a pleasantly humorous, non-threatening atmosphere during his information “cleansing.”

After all is said and done Muhammad could appear to him as Woody Allen and Allah could be played by Donald Trump to explain that he has been misled, America is not “the Great Satan” and that he is going to be put back on earth to do the right thing. If he is able to convince his brethren to stop their Jihad, he will come back to paradise and this time there’ll be fourteen hookers… er… virgins waiting to cleanse his pipes. He will then live in a palace in paradise with fountains, golden bathroom fixtures, a lifetime subscription to Playboy, a cell phone with the Prophet’s private number in it and a round bed with a coin operated vibrating mechanism, everything he ever dreamed of… The possibilities are unlimited. There is never any need to torture. It just takes a little imagination.