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Fluctuated No. 5 & 6

Story ID:6007
Written by:Monte Leon Manka (bio, contact, other stories)
Organization:retired
Story type:Poem
Location:Hemet CA USA
Year:1980
Person:Trusting Chelsea Kansas Kid
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Fluctionated No. 5 & 6

I purchased a new duplex
In Anaheim, CA. on Dwyer Place
Three bedroom and two
A totally different case

Each month
Iíll let the renter make the most
Of my mortgage payment
From now on I can coast

As long as I lived next door in the three
The rent was always paid on time
No problems with the renters
Never any crime

Getting close to retirement
I bought a new two-story home
In Corona Ca.
15 miles East of my old Anaheim home.

This old Fool
Never seemed to learn
That if you believe everything they say
You will get burned.

Iím from Kansas, you know
There your word was good as Gold
A handshake was better than a contract
For something bought or sold

When you get to California
Early on you find
The scammers are here, by the thousands
And will steal you blind.

Just a short preparation
For how I fell again
How I got hornswoggled
By Mary Garcia, a Mexican.

I left the duplex in the hands
Of a rental agency
Twas the thing to do
Now Iím Fancy-free.

The Agency Inspectors
Found a couple drips
I had to fix right away
If Iíd fix the drips theyíd rent it today.

The Agency told me
No need for you to investigate
Weíve looked into Mary Garcia
Everythingís first rate.

9 P.M. The next evening
While relaxing, watching TV
The phone rang
Shirley said it was for me.

This is Mary Garcia
Iím parked here in the drive
With a truckload of furniture
Iíd like the keys to move inside.

I drove in from Corona
15 miles drive
Mary was parked in front of the duplex
Waiting for me to arrive.

Mary, I said
I need the first and last months rent
And the security deposit
She didnít have one red cent.

My Brother has my checkbook
But heís at the grocery store
Iíll give it to tomorrow
I hope you wonít be sore

Itís getting late; I didnít want to wait
I drove back to Corona, 15 miles
When I walked into the house
Shirley said whereís the check, I smiled

Iíll get it tomorrow
I told Shirley my tale
Shirley shook her head and said
It never fails.

Youíve been fluctionated
By the novice, so, now you know
Youíve been
Fluctionated by a pro.

Got a call from an old neighbor, on Dwyer Place
Monte what have you done,
Thereís wet backs going in and out all night long
From Midnight until Dawn.

I didnít want to lose my duplex
So Mary I did confront
Are you selling drugs from here?
All she did was grunt.

The midnight walkers did cease
But by now instead of two
She had moved in another family
This made quite a few.

The renter in the two bedroom side
Told me adios
Drunken parties in the three
It was getting gross.

Mary moved out as she moved in
In the middle of the night
I couldnít get my past rent
I tried with all my might

40,000 Garcias, Seventy were Mary
In the Anaheim telephone directory.

When I got in to the duplex
The cockroaches did abound
Holes burnt into the rugs
Holes punched into the walls were found.

That crazy Mexican Mary
She knew she had me beat
Even took
Both toilet seats.

My fireplace gas logs
Were covered in melted plastic plates
Couldnít be cleaned
It was two late.

3600.00 dollars later
The lady across the way
Wanted to buy my duplex
There on Dwyer Place today.

I put it into Escrow
No more rentals, please
I learned the hard way
My landlordís day did cease.

And not
That itís belated
Iíll try never again
To be fluctionated.

Monte Manka, 08-03-09