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Uncle Fossill goes Bear Hunting

Story ID:6234
Written by:bobby o'neill mitchum (bio, contact, other stories)
Story type:Fiction
Location:Phenix City Alabama U.S.A.
Year:2010
Person:Self
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Well,it has been quiet a while since I have enformed you of the shenannigans going on up there in the great state of Tennesee,where my Uncle Fossill resides with my Aunt Flossie Mae in the town of Podunk,which happens to also be the County Seat (Podunk County only has one town)I went up there recently to check on Uncle Fossill and Aunt Flossie Mae since I had not heard from them in so long.
I found Podunk in a great frenzy of activity,with Mothers grabbing children and ushering them into basements,men running around with muskets brandishing Bowie knives and the Mayor making speeches on the podium,come to think about it,this was just a usual day in Podunk.
At any rate,upon finding my Uncle Fossill and Aunt Flossie Mae in good health,and finding out that nothing unusual was going on up there,well nothing unusual except the usual,I ask Uncle Fossill if He had ever went Bear Hunting,now dont ask me why I was so daft as to ask Him this question,for knowing my Uncle Fossill as I do,I shouls have known better.Boy,he said (Uncle Fossill always calls me Boy)in all my born days,I aint never heard of nothing so dad burned silly!But Uncle Fossill, I replied,It's a well known fact that lots of people hunt bears up here!
Well Boy,He said,if'n yew say so,it's true I reckon,so if'n yew wanna go a huntin Bear,we'uns will do just that,now yew meet me here bout sun up tomorrow an me and yew will go a huntin bear.
Perplexed a bit about going hunting those huge Black Bears with Uncle Fossill (because I knew He would only take a single shot musket)I returned to my Motel room and spent a restless night dreaming about being chased by a whole pack of rabid bears,intent on having me for a snack.
Bright and early the next morning I arrived at our designated place where the great bear hunt was to commence,Uncle Fossill had not yet arrived and this worried me a bit,because He was almost always the first to arrive if a great adventure was in the works.
Finally I heard Uncle Fossill coming down the path on his mule,he was fussing and fuming as he rode "dad burned fool hardy youngins!""ouch!dang briars!"He was saying.
When he came into sight and dismounted,I was completely flabberghasted!for there was Uncle Fossill,completely nude with only his old musket on a sling over His shoulder!Uncle Fossill! I shouted,where are your clothes!?
Boy,He replied,why do you have yo're pants on?Hit was yo're idee ta go huntin bare,not mine!
:) Bob Mitchum