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A VALENTINE TALE FOR HALLOWEEN AS TOLD BY UNCLE FOSSILL

Story ID:6373
Written by:bobby o'neill mitchum (bio, contact, other stories)
Story type:Fiction
Location:Phenix City Alabama U.S.A.
Year:2010
Person:Self
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Old Goggle Eye McGrubble was mean,He was mean to Women,He was mean to Kids and His Neighbors,but He was especially mean to Animals,but most of all He was mean to HIS Animals.He wold slap His Cat on a whim,He would kick His Dog at every opportunity and His Mule didn't like Him very much either.
They called Him Goggle Eye because He reputedly had a glass eye,but the problem was that you couldent tell which eye was the glass one because if you happen to speak to Him on passing Him on the street some where,He would statre at you and both eyes would roll around in his head like they were about to fall right out of thier socket!I guess thats why folks around His home town just tried to avoid Him as much as possible,they didn't want His eye to fall out and roll around like a marble on the ground.
It was told around the small town where McGrubble grew up,that His Parents had been kind and generous people and well thought of in the community and very loving toward thier only Son.But McGrubble as a child was as rotten as they come,He tortured small animals and insects,was disobedient toward His parents and hateful to all His teachers,in short,McGrubble was just plain rotten from the start.It seems that the only thing old McGrubble cared for in life was His Chickens,especially His prize winning Rooster whom He called Chantecleer.
One dark night somthing began taking McGrubbles Chickens from thier pen,at first it was just an old Hen or two and McGrubble only fussed and fumed a bit more,slapped His cat more often,kicked His Dog harder and beat His mule a bit more than usual,but when Chantecleer became a victim of the prowler McGrubble really got mad,vowing to catch the thief,man or beast and nail it's hide to His barn door,where He already had a number of small animal hides on display there.
McGrubble began to consult with various and sundry Folk around town,He consulted with the Game Warden,He consilted with the local Sheriff, a college professor and a stray chemist or two and even a Librarian also oh yes and a Biologist,all these people said later that He seemed interested in animal scents and smells,habitat and habits.Finally old McGrubble found an old Gypsy Woman and consulted with Her,at first She refused to speak with Him,telling Him to go away,but McGrubble threatened to turn Her in to the local Sheriff as a thief for stealing His old pocket watch (which She had not done) She relented and handed Him a small vial of rather oily looking licquid and cautioning Him that it must be used in only small amounts and for the proper reason or else dire consequences would follow and that in all gypsydom,the contents had been used only twice since time immemorial,once by Helen of Troy and once by Cleopatra,both times with disastrous consequences.McGrubbled told her that he didn't know any Helenes and that the only Cleo He knew was cleodis spegglemire down at the saw mill and cleodis didn't have nuff sense to even open the vial,let alone use it! thus saying He snatched the vial from the Gypsy Woman and went stright way up to his old barn where he placed a huge iron wash pot on a lrge fire and began to boil water in it,He then added a little of this and a little of that,then more of that and more of this,He added some purple powder and some yellow powder and a bit of black powder too with herbs and spices that he had assembled,then He consulted a few scribbled notes and added some more ingredients,finally He drew the small vial of oily licquid from his pocket and emptied the whole contents into the boiling pot,the He consulted His old pocket watch and waited,but nothing happened,so He added a bit more ingredients to the pot,still nothing happened! becoming infuriated,he burned His notes and dumped the pot over into the great fire,a huge plume of black smoke engulfed him for a second but nothing else happened so McGrubble stomped off to His bed.
Bright and early the next morning as He was going to His barn to beat His old Mule,He was supprized to see a small red fox sitting in the path,AHA! yelled McGrubble,YOU THE ONE THAT GOT MY ROOSTER! but then he saw another red fox,and another and another,not only were there many fox in the path but McGrubble saw Racoons,Opossum,Rabbits Bears and Skunks coming out of the forest,and all were headed stright for Him. For the first time in his life,McGrubble was frightened of animals! He bagn to run but the faster he ran,the more animals were there to chase him,and the last time that anyone saw McGrubble He was headed for parts unknown with a host of animals running after Him with Love on thier minds and fire in thier veins for old Goggle Eye McGrubble! Some one later said that His old tattered hat was found on the edge of a great swamp in South Carolina.
(this tale was told to me by Uncle Fossill,and any resemblance TO anyone living or dead is purely intentional) THE END