On a cold Thanksgiving night in 1926, Mrs. Wayne Manka gave birth to a Turkey that she had been carrying for nine months. The nine-lb. turkey was named Monte Manka. Now in the seventy-one years that he has been on this earth, his birthday has been on Thanksgiving only about nine times.
The turkey seems to be the bird for Thanksgiving and I cannot understand how people can really like to eat turkey. Give me ham or chicken any time. Thanksgiving seems to be the day that the women spend hours fixing the "dinner" and
the men set around and tell stories to the relatives. Now these stories have been told and told and they are even believed by the tellers. After the meal the men set in the easy chairs, stretch out, and rub their belly and grunt and belch and doze while the women do the dishes. Then there is the next week consuming the turkey that has been left over.
Turkey sandwiches turkey casserole, turkey, turkey and more turkey.
I remember when Mr. Hugh Lawrence would come home from Bowling and talk about him getting a turkey. I was to embarrassed to ask him what he was talking about. The rest of the Lawrence family knew, so I kept my ignorance covered. To this day I still do not know what a turkey has to do with bowling.
I have been called a multitude of names and one of them was turkey. Now it is bad enough that I hate turkey but to be called one is the ultimate insult. When I was driving up and the 605 freeway there is a turkey farm next to the road. When you pass this turkey ranch the stench is so bad that you break the speed limit just so you can get by the odor.
I have a friend that likes turkey so much that he had to fly over and visit the country of TURKEY. Now this friend will have turkey for Thanksgiving, turkey for bowling, called turkey by his enemies and celebrate another turkey's birthday. More turkey that you can shake a drumstick at.
In my life time I have picked several Turkey's a Bank stock, a Chrysler, a renter, a coin collection, a truck that I picked to drive, a mutual fund sold me by a man named Coyne (talk of irony) a suit I bought in Haberlein's and even at this, I will probably buy another, How about a bridge.
On the 26th of this month, November, millions of people will eat this despicable bird and give thanks for the year, those past years and future years. I am the only one I know that does not like the bird but I will give thanks also, with everyone else for the good health of me and my family and yours.
I am sick of turkey and they had to name a dance after a Turkey. I can just see the Toms and the Hens prancing around each other waiting for a chance to attack one another.
I am so glad that only once a year they have a "turkey day" and that is the only one that I will have to suffer.
A NEIGHBOR OF SYRIA
A THREE STRIKE RUN
A THEATRICAL FLOP
A NAIVE INEPT LOSER
A THANKSGIVING TOM
Turkey day is on the 25th. Of Nov. this year and that is also my birthday. This old essay seems to fit once again.
Monte L. Manka 11-21-2010