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Uncle Fossill talks about the cold weather

Story ID:6607
Written by:bobby o'neill mitchum (bio, contact, other stories)
Story type:Fiction
Location:Phenix City Alabama U.S.A.
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Speaking of how cold is out there in Kansas,well I was talking with my Uncle Fossill the other day and I happen to mention the fact that Kansas was experiencing some really cold weather.Uncle Fossill said that one time up there in Podunk Tennessee He was awakened one morning by what He thought was hail or sleet,as it turned out,it was Aunt Flossie Mae,He said She was talking to Him but He couldent hear Her because all Her words were freezing up as soon as they left Her mouth and falling on the floor,making that rattling sound and that He had to sweep them over to the fireplace so they could thaw before He could hear what She was talking about.He says that She was trying to tell Him that He had to go outside with an ice pick and a burlap sack,chip off enough sun shine bring it in by the old wood stove and thaw it out before She could have enough light to cook breakfast by.
That same year it got so cold that Uncle Fossill had to warm His hands in the deep freezer for an hour in order to get them warm enough to go milk the cows,turns out that it was so cold that the cows were only giving ice cream.
He also said that the Polar Bears had to come South to Tennessee that year so they wouldent freeze and that Santa had to move His work Shop into Uncle Fossill's old Barn for the same reason and when He went out with His Rein Deer to deliver all the gifts that instead of Ho! Ho! Ho! Santa was shouting Cold! Cold! Cold!.
Uncle Fossill also said that that year He got to meet His distant Cousin from England for the first time,He came over here by dog sled!
Bob Mitchum
Uncle Fossill also asked me to tell you that He would have written you Him Self,but it was so cold up there this year that all the words froze and dropped off His letter.
Bob Mitchum