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To Expectorate or How To Expect-To-Rate

Story ID:6793
Written by:Charles Dishno (bio, contact, other stories)
Story type:Story
Location:Dillon Montana USA
Year:2011
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This is another stoy about my dingy little grandmother, Etta.

To Expectorate or How To Expect-To-Rate
By Chuck Dishno

This story is about my Grandmother, Etta. Etta came to live with us from Missoula, Montana during the Second World War and stayed for about 25 years. She was a first class lady with very proper up bringing so living in a small backwoods town like Bly, Oregon was a cultural shock to her but she took it all in stride though and made the most of it.

Bly was small logging town of about 400 and had a quite a few families of that came from the deep South with their quaint customs. One lady who lived down the street from us was one of Etta’s favorites. Grandma loved to stop and visit her whenever she had the chance and she usually took me with her. The lady, I think her name was Mrs. Tillman, had very few teeth and chewed tobacco at every chance. As soon as we came in Mrs. Tillman would take a large chew of tobacco and pour a cup of coffee for Etta then place a large plate of cookies on the table for us to eat while chatting. These were days before we had electric ranges and she had a large wood cook stove in the kitchen. Before she would sit down, she would go over to the stove and open the door to the firebox. She would then sit and face the stove and when the urge hit her she would pucker up and spit across the room right into the firebox. Her accuracy was amazing and the only thing you could hear was the “splatter” as a wad hit the fire. Grandma was totally fascinated by this and could hardly wait for her to launch the next volley. She would talk about it all the way home and give my mom a detailed account of the incident. I remember her saying; “I would give anything if I could spit like that”. I don’t remember her ever trying, though, and I’m sure she never did.

Grandma died at 84 years of age, just as much a lady then as she had been all her life.