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Uncle Fossill and The Stuborn pet

Story ID:7549
Written by:bobby o'neill mitchum (bio, contact, other stories)
Story type:Fiction
Location:Phenix City Alabama U.S.A.
Year:2011
Person:sELF
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My Uncle Fossill Me on the Phone the other day all upset and cussin.I say cussing because Uncle Fossill never CURSES he only uses words like DadGummit or Dadburnit.In this instance I could tell that He was VERY upset by the tone of His voice.
"Boy,He said,"Yew gotta come up cheer to tha House cause I cant teech this consarned critter that I went an bought fer yo're Aunt Flossie Mae's Birthday!Hit twont eat,Hit twont sit an tha dadburned thang wont fetch a stick nether!(Uncle Fossill has always called Me Boy)and by George I knows thet Yew can find out tha reason why too.Ok Uncle Fossill I said I'll come on up there right away.
On My arrival Uncle Fossill took me out to the Barn where He keeps all His Farm Animals,and way back in a dark corner of that old barn He had a cage and as We approached the cage Uncle Fossill warned Me to be very careful as He was "jest shore thet tha dadburned thang was a jest waitin fer tha right time to strike!"
He carefully approached the cage,knelt to one side of it and slowly unlocked the over sized padlock that He had fastened there to keep the Critter from escaping in His abscence.There ya go Boy,hits all yorn! said Uncle Fossill stepping back away from the cage.I carefully peeked inside,not knowing what to expect and was quiet surprized to see only a rock setting there,Uncle Fossill,I said whats this!?
"Why Boy,thets tha pet I bought fer yo're Aunt Flossie Mae,Hits a Pet Rock!
Bob Mitchum :)