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Uncle Fossill Sez

Story ID:7785
Written by:bobby o'neill mitchum (bio, contact, other stories)
Story type:Fiction
Location:Phenix City Alabama U.S.A.
Year:2012
Person:Self
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I know that all of you,well most of you,some of you have at least heard of the Chinese Wiseman Confusius,while you might not know that My Uncle Fossill is also a wiseman in his on way,one day I asked Uncle Fossill if he had ever heard of Confusius and this is what he told me. "Boy" (Uncle Fossill has always called Me Boy) Lemme tell yew,thet thar cornfusius feller never did live away up here in these here mountains like I have,so I have developed muh own "wise" sayings and rigtcheer is a few of them number one I have found out that people who live in log cabins CAN throw stones! number two If'n yew get a huge refund on yo're income tax,dont tell yo're relatives! number three A dead chicken in the pot is worth more than a live possum in a sack! Number four If'n the revenoors come to yo're house,tell them that you live next door! Number five If'n yew live next door and see that revenoors at yo're neighbors house...RUN! Number six If'n yew go to jail be shore to ask tha sheriff fer a "cell phone"! Number seven dont never go huntin bear,always wear sum clothes! Number eight It's ok to put all yo're eggs in one basket cause it makes it easier to run if'n the owner of those chickens catches yew in his henhouse!Number nine if'n a stranger asks yew whar yew are frum,always tell him "up yonder" if'n he ask whar yo're going always tell him "down Yonder!"
If'n a relative knocks on yo're front door,ask him to loan yew money first!
number ten if'n a relative knocks on yo're back door,look fer the sheriff to be chasing after him!
Bob Mitchum :) :)