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Uncle Fossill's Ass Gets Beat

Story ID:7788
Written by:bobby o'neill mitchum (bio, contact, other stories)
Story type:Fiction
Location:Phenix City Alabama U.S.A.
Year:2012
Person:Self
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Uncle Fossill called me up and asked me if I would come up to Podunk for moral support as he ahd gotten into an altercation at the Podunk Saloon and needed a friendly face in the crowd for the upcoming contest.
Of course I went right up,knowing the serious consequences that rivalry in Podunk can ficilitate,and not wanting my uncle fossill to get hurt.This "contest" came about because Uncle Fossill had insulted the ability of J.D Micklesnagger's throughbred prize race horse whom he called "Greased Lightening" to win a race.It was a calculated insult by Uncle Fossill as I later found out.Uncle Fossill suggested that Greased Lightening should race against "Old Slow Plop" which was Uncle Fossill's Jack ass and who was well noted in Podunk to be of an evil and vindictive temperment.The looser was to forfiet the animal who lost the race.
On the day of the race,Uncle Fossill led His Jackass up to the starting line where Greased Lightening was champing at the bit and pawing the ground awaiting the Mayor's pistol shot to start the race,when the pistol fired Old Slow plop immediately sat down braying loudly while Greased Lightening was almost to the other end of the field and the finishing line,Old Slow Plop never even got past the starting line and Greased Lightening was declared the winner,Uncle Fossill dutifully handed him over to a smiling and triumphant Micklesnagger.I went up to My Uncle Fossill to offer my condolences in his loss,I found him smiling broadly and I asked him why he was smiling Uncle Fossill replied "Boy" ( Uncle Fossill has always called me Boy) I woulda give ole slow plop to Micklesnagger fer nuthin,an besides,I bet $1000 to 1 on Greased Lightening!
Bob Mitchum :)
definition of ASS a hoeselike animal used as a beast of burden