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Uncle Fossill Gets Antsy

Story ID:7931
Written by:bobby o'neill mitchum (bio, contact, other stories)
Story type:Fiction
Location:Phenix City Alabama U.S.A.
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I visited my Uncle Fossill recently and arrived in Podunk Township up there in Podunk County Tennessee to find the annual Fossill appreciation Day pick nick in full swing,I searched for my uncle among the happy throngs but could find him no where,I looked in the fried possum tail vendor tent,I visited the boiled chicken feet kiosk and even went to look in the wild hog wrestling cage but he was just no where to be found!Finally I ventured down by the creek where they were having the Big Cat fish Swallowing contest and there I found him,he was avidly watching somthing on the ground and on closer examination I found that he was watching a Black Ant that was dragging a picked clean chicken drum stick bone across the ground.I noticed that he had been so interested in the Ant and the chicken bone that he had let his "special brew" melt the styrofoam cup that it had been in.Boy, he said at my approach (Uncle Fossill has always called me Boy)looka here at this ole aint trying to drag thet bone up that ole oak tree!if'n I could growm them thangs up to the size of Ole Flop (Ole Flop is Uncle Fossills Hound Dog) We uns could start a whole new bussiness! we could have them flying aints to fly us all the New Nited States frum an aint port! jest than of all thet gas-o- leen we could save! I tried to tell Uncle Fossill that I for one would not be interested in having an Ant the size of Ole Flop carry me anywhere at all but I could tell that the idea had stuck in his head,but our conversation was interrupted by the escape of a wild hog from the hog wrestling event and I hoped that He would forget about it,the hog was finally caught and the Pick Nick progressed without any further interuptions and afterwards I returned home to Atlanta.
Three Months later Uncle Fossill called me on the phone shouting and laughing about the fact thatThe Aints was a gonna make him and Aunt Flossie Mae rich as Lords of the Realm and He wanted me to come up and see the mericall!!My mind harkened back to mine and Uncle Fossills last conversation at the Pick Nick and my dreams that night were haunted by nightmares of huge black ants the size of Uncle Fossills mules carrying me off into dark places,my fears were unfounded when I arrived at Uncle Fossills and found that the only Ant he had was in a very small match box,and Uncle Fossill informed me that he had spent months teaching it how to dance,do acrobatics and even play a small fiddle,I was dumbfounded but just as excited as Uncle Fossill and we immediately set off for Knoxville where the Television company had reserved He and I a room in the most exclusive Hotel in Knoxville complete with Champaigne and room service! Un cle Fossill was amazed at the fact that he could pull a small cord above his bed and have some one bring him things from the main floor (we were on the 15th floor)time after time he had the Bell Boy bring up things like extra ice,extra blankets,extra drinks ect.ect. finally on about the 30th trip up to our room without any tip,the Bell Boy was a bit miffed,so seeking to cheer him up,Uncle Fossill let his little trained Ant out on the table intending to let it play the fiddle for the Bell Boy and maybe cheer him up.Mr.Bell Boy,said Uncle Fossill,yew see that thar Aint richeer on this here table?wal hits...he never finished his sentance for the Bell Boy upon seeing the Ant crawling on the table swatted the little insect with a rolled up news paper saying as he did so,well sir that takes care of your Ant problem!
Uncle Fossill and I returned to Podunk the next day and we never mentioned Ants again in each others presence!
The End
Bob Mitchum :) :)
Come on folks,You didn't think Uncle Fossill was really going to get rich did you?