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The Courts Spoil the Adventure

Story ID:7972
Written by:Michael Timothy Smith (bio, link, contact, other stories)
Story type:Musings, Essays and Such
Location:Caldwell ID USA
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Our old barbeque sits in a dark corner of our storage shed. We can’t afford the parts to fix
it. The burner is rusted and burns unevenly. We put up with it until a storm blew it over and
caused a gas leak. The next time we used it, the leak caused the flames to melt knobs that control
the burners.

It used to be a beautiful barbeque and still would be if we could get parts for it. We’ve
enjoyed many meals cooked under its shiny metal surface. However, even if we could fix it, it
wouldn’t fit on our tiny apartment balcony.

Ginny and I missed grilling, so we splurged and purchased an eighteen dollar charcoal
grill. It fits perfectly on the balcony.

I got it home, opened the box on the living room floor, pulled out the instructions and
read a list of warnings that made me shake my head with wonder.

The list of warnings included:

• To complete assembly you will need one (1) bag of charcoal. (Ya think?)

• This grill is for outdoor use only. (There went the romantic fire I planned for Ginny that night)

• This grill should not be used as a heater. (What about heating food?)

• This grill is safety certified for use in the United States and Canada only. Do not modify for use in any other location. (What?)

• Do not use this grill unless it is completely assembled. (DUH!)

• Do not touch metal parts of grill until it has completely cooled. (DUH! Again)

Why do they print these warnings?

If they didn’t have them, we could sue the manufacture, because we decided to use
the charcoal grill in our bedroom for a romantic dinner with our spouse..

What happened to common sense?

The lawyers who take these cases and the courts who rule in favor of those who
harmed themselves, because they didn’t think, make the courts look absurd.

The courts spoil the adventure for us do-it-yourselfers.

Michael T. Smith