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Uncle Fossill And the Canned Biscuit Caper

Story ID:8836
Written by:bobby o'neill mitchum (bio, contact, other stories)
Story type:Fiction
Location:Phenix City Alabama U.S.A.
Year:2013
Person:Self
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My Uncle Fossill caled about two weeks ago complaining and fuming about a trip he had to make down to Knoxville on some "personel " bussiness.I did NOT inquire as to the nature of the "personel" bussiness and he never devulged it,what He did tell me is that while he was in Knoxville he had went into a local grocery store and had found a product that both perplexed and amazed him,seems as if my Uncle Fossill found some canned biscuits!He told me that He bought a can of "them dadburned thangs" and had taken them stright back to Podunk,fired up the old wooden stove and tried to bake them dang biscuits and serve them to Aunt Flossie Mae,the only problem was that the dadburned can had exploded in the oven!Aunt flossie Mae had accused him of trying to run her off by blowing up the dadgummed stove and then serving her them dang spongy tasting thangs! So He,Uncle Fossill was now in the process of doing his own version of canned bread! The product which he was going to make and sale to them dadblamed flat landers was "agonna knock their dadblamed socks off!"His idea was to make what he called canned cornbread!Boy,he said,ima gonna be dadblammed rich as blazes!
Two days ago I heard on the evening news that there had been some sort of ecological disaster up in the neighborhood of Podunk,I sincerely hope that My Uncle Fossill was not to blame.