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Uncle Fossill Buys Some Butter Milk

Story ID:8851
Written by:bobby o'neill mitchum (bio, contact, other stories)
Story type:Fiction
Location:Phenix City Alabama U.S.A.
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Fossill! Heyyyy Fossill ! c,mere a secont,I wont ye ta go down yonder ta tha Genral Store an git me sum Butter Milk so's I kin fix us'ns sum of them thar Butter Milk Biscuits fer supper tonite!called Aunt Flossie Mae from the kitchen window,My Uncle Fossill was puttering around in his barn down near the feed lot and pretended that He did'nt hear her.Mumbling under His Breath somthing about confounded Women allus a wanting one thang er another an then they aint never satisfied when they gits what ever it tis they's a wanting anyhow!
Fossill! If'n yew dont come here rite this here second Ima not gonna cook another meal fur yew consarn it!
Uncle Fossill took her threat seriously and giving his overhalls an irritated hitch up, He mossied on up to the small cabin which is located in the foothills of the Great Smoky Mountains in Podunk TownShip which is the County Seat of Podunk County Tennessee.And dont try to find Podunk County on any current Map of the U.S.A. because due to the Mappers getting too much of the Fossill Home Brew in the 1700's,it was inadvertandly left off all maps And as far as the U.S.Government tax assayors are concerned,it simply dose not exist.
Anyway Uncle Fossill went on up to the kitchen window and spoke through it to Aunt Flossie Mae,Woman,whut in tarnation dew yew want frum thet thar genral store now? Fossill,she said,I want a gallon of Butter Milk so's I kin fix us'ns sum of them thar Butter Milk Biscuits fur supper tonite! Yew go on down thar now and git me a gallon,an if'n they has any fresh eggs,git me six.
Uncle Fossill went on down to the store,about an hour later he returned with 6 gallons of fresh Butter Milk.Aunt Flossie Mae said to Uncle Fossill,why in tha world did yew git 6 gallond of Butter Milk fur Fossill!?
Wall,replied Uncle Fossill,yew tolt me that if'n they has fresh aigs ta git yew 6,wall they has them dad burned fresh aigs an heres yore dadburned 6 gallonds of Butter Milk!
Uncle Fossill returned to the old barn,muttering under his breath somthing about Women always wanting somthing and then not being happy when they got it.
Bob Mitchum :)