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The Stoned disaRanger (a mitchum western)

Story ID:9331
Written by:bobby o'neill mitchum (bio, contact, other stories)
Story type:Fiction
Location:Phenix City Alabama U.S.A.
Year:2013
Person:Self
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With a mighty thunder of hooves the Stoned (disa)Ranger arrives on the scene of a recent stagecoach holdup,"hey Mam" he says,what happened?"well good sir,replies the young Maiden,3 masked men came riding up on horses and..."wait" says the Stoned (disa)Ranger,for I must confer with my faithful indian companion for a bit.Uh say dambo.."THATS TANTO,not damnbo, Chemo Flabby!" replies Tanto.Chemo Flabby!? dont call me chemo flabby!and you aint no Indian anyway!"Nope,Chemo Blabby,I am in reality a DEA agent deployed out here to guard our Border from illegal immigrants,and why may I ask,do you wear that ignorant mask because obviously you are not an out law ?No,I am not an OutLaw,I, good sir,am the Stoned (disa)Ranger!replied the (disa)Ranger!and I wear this mask as a rule only on Halloween,and I am here to uphold the law to the detriment of all unlawful law breakers who break the law!
Law Breakers who brake the Law? Chemo blabby? are there law breakers out here that do not brake the law?I mean by definition,a law braker is a person or persons who habitually brake the law are they not ? Look blambo,dont you go trying to confuse this old (disa)Ranger,replies the old (disa)Ranger because I aint easily fooled!Look boys,says the young maiden,those dang masked men are getting away while y'all carry on that conversation and they done broke the code of the west,they took from the poor and gave to the rich!
Why mam,says the Stoned (disa)Ranger lets all just mosey on over to that ole saloon an have our selves a drink and think this thing through,after all,thats why they call me the STONED (disa)RANGER!
Having said that,they all went over to the saloon,The Stoned (disa)Ranger consulted his GPS and tanto fed his elephants and the Young Maiden fell in love with the Bar Keep (who incidently also owned the local bank) and they all got stone drunk then the young maiden married the local sheriff and the Stoned (disa)Ranger rode away into the sunset while tanto went back to India and attended 6 years of medical school and returned to the U.S.A. as a certified MD and went to work for the Veterans Administration while the 3 masked men who robbed the stage all got jobs with the U.S.Federal Governmnet but were fired as none essential personnel when the Govt shut down for 17 days,but not to worry,they were paid in full in the end.
The End. Man am I glad every thing turned out ok after all.:)