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Once (or maybe twice)upon a Time

Story ID:9333
Written by:bobby o'neill mitchum (bio, contact, other stories)
Story type:Fiction
Location:Phenix City Alabama U.S.A.
Year:2013
Person:Self
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ONCE UPON A TIME,WELL THIS STORY MIGHT HAVE HAPPENED BEFORE,THEN AGAIN,MAYBE IT DID'NT.
ANYWAY,AS THE STORY GOES A POOR FARMERS SON FOUND SOME MAGIC BEANS,WELL ACTUALLY HE DID'NT JUST "FIND" THE BEANS IN REALITY,HE STOLE THE BEANS FROM AN OLD WITCH WHO HAPPEND TO HAVE THE MISFORTUNE TO LIVE IN A SHOE NEXT DOOR TO THE FARMERS SON AND HAD PLANNED TO SERVE THE BEANS FOR DINNER THAT NIGHT AS SHE HAD INVITED A MAGIC FAIRY COUPLE OVER FOR DINNER,BUT AS LUCK WOULD HAVE IT,THE FARMERS SON (a part time pizza delivery boy)HAPPENED BY WHILE SHE WAS OUTSIDE FEEDING 3 BEARS THAT HAD GOTTEN THEIR PORRIDGE EATEN BY AN ITENERATE LADY WHO HAD GOTTEN LOST IN THE WOODS WHILE FOLLOWING SOME BREAD CRUMBS WHICH HAD BEEN LAID DOWN BY A ROBBING HOOD AS A SORT OF OLD FASHIONED GPS.IT SEEMS AS IF AN OGRE WHO LIVED IN A NEAR BY CONDO HAD TAKEN SOME OF THE CRUMBS TO FEED A GANG OF PIRATES LED BY NONE OTHER THAN RUMPLE STILTSKINS,ANYWAY THE FARMERS SON PLANNED TO SELL THE STOLEN BEANS AT A LOCAL FLEA MARKET TO MAKE SOME MONEY SO THAT HE COULD ATTEND THE UNIVERSITY OF ALABAMA AND BECOME A DOCTOR,UNFORTUNATELY THE BEANS (as mentioned above)WERE MAGIC BEANS (WELL THEY WERE NOT MAGIC IN THE PRACTICAL SENSE)THEY WERE REALLY MEXICAN JUMPING BEANS BUT AS THE POOR FARMERS SON WAS SOME WHAT OF A DOLTISH LAD,HE THOUGHT THAT THEY WERE MAGIC BEANS,SO BEING MEXICAN "JUMPING" BEANS WHICH IS WHAT THEY WERE,THEY JUMPED OUT OF HIS POCKET AS HE WALKED ALONG THE PATH THAT LED TO THE CITY OF OZ WHERE THE FLEA MARKET WAS LOCATED,WHEN HE ARRIVED AT THE FLEA MARKET BEANLESS AND HAD NOTHING TO SELL TO MAKE MONEY FOR COLLEGE HE FORTHWITH DECIDED TO APPLY FOR A GRANT FROM THE GOVERNMENT BUT AS WE ALL HAVE EXPERIENCED IN THE PAST,THE GOVERNMENT HAD SHUT DOWN DUE TO THE FACT THAT IT WAS BROKE BECAUSE RUMPLE STILTSKINS HAD PIRATED THE MONEY TO GIVE TO THE OGRE FOR FEEDING HIS RATHER LARGE BAND OF PIRATES.
MEANWHILE THE PIZZA PLACE HAD DECIDED TO FIRE THE LAD FOR NOT DELIVERING PIZZAS AND WANDERING AWAY TO SELL BEANS,THE WITCH HAD TO MOVE OUT OF HER SHOE DUE TO NONE PAYMENT OF HER RENT (she was supposed to have gotten paid to fix dinner for the fairy couple)THE 3 BEARS WERE ROUNDED UP BY THE FOREST RANGERS AND TAKEN TO YELLOWSTONE PARK AND BECAME A BIG HIT WITH THE RICH TOURIST (well actually the tourist were laid off Government workers who were not at all afraid that they wouldent get paid)AND THE ITENERATE LADY WENT TO ALASKA AND BECAME A HUGE GOVERNMENT POLITICIAN.AS FOR THE POOR FARMERS SON,WELL HE DECIDED THAT LIVING OFF FOOD STAMPS FURNISHED BY THE GOVERNMENT WAS MUCH MORE LUCRATIVE THAN BEING A DOCTOR,SO HE MOVED IN WITH THE OGRE AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER.as for the fairy couple well they got jobs at disney world and as for those jumping beans? I really dont know what happened to them.
THE END :)