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Story ID:9364
Written by:Monte Leon Manka (bio, contact, other stories)
Story type:Musings, Essays and Such
Location:Corona CA USA
Person:Age Old Chelsea Kansas Kid
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c ag er
p age r
Golden Age I'm here
r age
Silver age Never saw it
s age r(teachers name)
Bronze age passed through
w age r
Iron Age An age I will miss Young Age Fun time
Old Age Tired time
Of Age 59 years ago
Plastic Age-Today

This three letter word doesn't bother me any more. I made it to the ripe old age of 80+. I don't really care about basket ball so I'm not a cager.

I don't want to be bothered with phone calls so I don't want a pager. At my age, I had better forget the rage because that can cause heart problems.

The Sager is an Old Dutch teacher I had when in the eight grade at Dist. # 10 at Chelsea. Now I don't have the means to gamble much so the wager is out also.

Now that all the words on the left upper side of the page used up, I can do without the word AGE.

They talk about the Golden Age well I think it is a pain in the eye. The bones harden, the muscles get stiff, the memory doesn't function properly, the eyes, teeth get bad, and they need constant care, at a terrible cost of course.

Silver, Bronze, Iron Age are just so many words that
mean nothing to me at this age. Silver is nice without the age, Bronze is nice when used in statues, and Iron used to mean the main metal used in Automobiles, now of course we are in the Plastic Age.

My Buick has about twenty pounds of Iron in it the rest is paper and Plastic. When I got the Buick the salesman raised the hood and told me that the (weak) bar across the engine was to keep the engine from coming into the front seat if you had a bad accident. I now know that I am safe in my plastic age car.

Why am I carrying on about Age? When you have nothing better to do but think this is one of the main topics. Man I couldn't wait to become a Senior Citizen to get my 10% discount Phooey I'd trade that discount for an erasure of a couple of years any old day.

When I was young the older people were respected and treated with care. Now you are lucky if some teenager
doesn't push you off the sidewalk. I'm like that comedian that I don't like "I just don't get any respect" Rodney Dangerfield.
You really act your age when a beautiful girl walks by and you notice only that she has a big hairdo and lovely dress. Man when I was young I noticed everything but the
hair and dress.

Time tells about you when you get together with some other old gray-haired men and discuss only politics. Now Clinton has ruined our conversation because everything is haywire. As Gore says everything thatís up is down and everything that is down is up. This man is a real JERK.

I have a record of "George Burns" and one of the lines in one of the songs is "if I have to run I just don't go". I really notice this when my Three-year-old grandson out runs me all the time. (No respect)

Oh yes I can still walk but I noticed a new Twinge yesterday along with the hip and thigh muscle giving away every once in a while. It's almost time for a Cane. With the cane, I can hit that teenager that shoves me off the sidewalk.

I can still drive but only in the daytime, it
seems in the darkness that the light fractures into a million rays through my windshield. (Couldnít possibly be that sandstorm that I went through on the way to Laughlin, Nev.)? Maybe a new windshield would help me in the nite time driving.

I don't want you to think that I am down and out, on the contrary, I am going to try for another 80+ years. Optomistic.?? I am because I can still type these silly letters, or whatever you would call them.

I don't know why I get a kick out of writing these things, I guess that I just want to make the recipient
feel better and maybe get a laugh or to. I know that I'm not a comedian but I have tried my darndest to be a comedian for about 60 years and never made the big time yet.

Steer age--Third Class Bagg age--Trunk
Lin age -- Advertising Barr age--Military fire Front age-- Front surface
Carri age-perambulator Pass age-- Access
Dunn age--Baggage
Sew age-- Waste Gar age--Car Keeper
Drain age--A flowing of liquid Mir age-Illusion
Mess age--Letter Mass age-Being Kneaded
st age --rostrum Cord age-rope
g age--pawn over age--to much

I am sure that there are many more words with "age" but for now, this is enough. The only one that I would care for is Massage and being kneaded.

The moral to this story is missing but with tongue in cheek, you get the point. Age is just a word and can be used in many ways, but after this waste of time, I feel better knowing that I am of another age. Monte L. Manka 8/8/98