|Written by:||Lisa Godin (bio, other stories)|
|Story type:||Musings, Essays and Such|
|Location:||Cleveland Ohio USA|
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|Written by:||Lisa Godin (bio, other stories)|
|Story type:||Musings, Essays and Such|
|Location:||Cleveland Ohio USA|
I read a Forum with the usual sexist one-sided view of abortion and I think it's time the ignorant get educated on abortion.|
Education? Education? What's to be educated about people say. Here are the reasons one should be educated about abortion instead of running on-you guessed it-just plain 'ol ignorance!
Why do women get abortions you need be educated on.
Who gets abortions you need be educated on.
What happens during an abortion you need be educated on.
Pro-choice vs. Pro-abortion you need to be educated on.
Paying for abortion you need to be educated on.
The decision OF abortion you need to be educated on.
Picking and choosing why an abortion is done you need to be educated on.
Minding your own business about abortion you need to be educated on.
Let's begin with why women get abortions. Two words. Entitlement and choice! We own our bodies not you. We're entitled to have kids and NOT have kids. It's OUR choice to have or not to have kids. We're not pre-programmed to want children. We like kids or we don't. Men have both that entitlement to control their bodies when it comes to impregnating, and they have a choice to be a father or not and men aren't pre-programmed any more than women to want to be fathers. And what is a father? A man who sires a child that's who! Your DNA is part of that kid. It doesn't disappear just because you're not in the kid's sights. YOU made that kid for without sperm the egg doesn't develop. It's also about time people got educated that entitlement to control one's body and choice isn't a man/woman thing. But we choose to draw that line. Men can, women can't or shouldn't and it bothers most that women aren't controllable.
Too many assume women get abortions as a means of birth control. I say "So what!" People are always bellyaching about women always having to be the sole beneficiary OF birth control, but you yell at women who MAY use abortion AS birth control? Get educated OUT of the assumption that women use abortion as birth control. Some do, some don't. But whether we do or don't use it for that purpose, abortion is our right whatever our reasons! It's NOT up to you to decide for others.
Who gets abortions? WOMEN! Well, how can you be any more obvious than that you say, right? Wrong! Rich women, Middle Class women, Poor women, all have one thing in common. We all have eggs, fallopian tubes to carry the egg down, we all have a uterus and if everything is working right, the ability to get pregnant. Our organs have no stamp that says Rich, Middle Class, Poor. Poor don't get down and 'dirty' more than Rich or Middle Class women. No you say? Well how come when we hear about abortion, all we see ARE Poor women you say. Simple. Poor have always been targets. We've always been villainized. What better way is there than Media frenzy focusing only on Poor women. Rich and Middle Class women aren't by the general population, demonized. Abortion knows no lines. ANY woman can have an abortion. But it's always divided as a CLASS of women. The 'lower' the better to demonize.
When a man wants a vasectomy he gets one. But no one divides his plumbing into Rich, Middle Class, Poor. When a man has a vasectomy there's no "We all have to pay for it!" Why? Because no one divides his plumbing into Rich, Middle Class, Poor. No one cares what Class a guy is when he gets a vasectomy. Any man can have a vasectomy, we don't choose which Class of men to pick on more when it comes to having or paying for a vasectomy.
But it's always we have to pay for that Poor woman to have an abortion. Society doesn't 'like' Poor women. When Middle Class or Rich women get abortions no one shouts "We the tax payers are paying for it!" Perhaps there are those who never think a Rich or Middle Class woman will have an abortion choosing to believe the hype that only if you're Poor do you get one. I can shatter that possible myth right now. When I had my abortion in 1987 I WAS Middle Class then and raised Middle Class. It's only been since 2009 that I fell into the Poor class. No one knew I had an abortion until I said it, no one griped about who paid for it, which I did, and had I been Poor back then, no one would've known unless I said, and I still would've paid for it myself. Get educated OUT of the assumption that you're paying for someone else's abortion as they're not announcing it to you at the time so you can use Class discrimination.
It's never labeled as 'that' Poor man got a woman pregnant. 'That' Rich guy got a woman pregnant. It's just the generic MAN got a gal pregnant. And he does it voluntarily. But women are portrayed as somehow tying a man down and making him impregnate her. It's never a certain CLASS of man. It's just your generic man who either has a vasectomy or gets a woman pregnant. But with abortion? It's made out as only a POOR WOMAN thing. People need to be educated on the fact that women can get pregnant. It's a matter of biology only, NOT Class. Media centers on only one group, so the ignorant think only THEY exist when they do something.
I have no idea how a late term abortion is done. My doctor did them between three and four months. Most have their abortions between three and four months. The fetus is no longer a clump of cells, but they don't exactly look like Hoss Cartwright either. Late term abortions depending on who does them is butchery. If people have a problem with late term abortions, why are they so forgiving of them put on display staring with blood thirsty excitement? If people have a problem with late term abortions, why do those same have no problem of a fetus they care so much about being exploited for political gain! That's NOT respecting life demanding it be spared, yet gruesomely exploited. If that's called "respect for life" then we do have a serious problem.
What happens during an abortion you need be educated on.
I was only three months pregnant when I got my abortion in 1987. It was no bigger than a peanut or a walnut I'm told. It can't survive outside the womb. I was put under totally and had it in a hospital. Yes, folks, you CAN have an abortion at a hospital if you so choose. You don't have to go to an abortion clinic to get one. I don't know if those in a clinic are put out totally. When I had mine I was told it was sucked out by a tube. Where it went after that I don't care about and I won't let people impose on me to care, nor do I want people to then turn to the "you're totally unfeeling" attitude. I'm the most sensitive person you can find. But I AM entitled not to have someone pick and choose WHEN I feel as I'm not a programmable machine.
I don't know how a late term abortion is done. But it's definitely not small enough to be sucked through a tube. With abortion some don't care WHEN that fetus is removed. They don't want abortion done at ANY age. But what we do see is the aftermath and use the mess as a political front to say see? This is ALWAYS what happens. I'll assume that those doctors who mess up a late term fetus are incompetent and don't know what they're doing so you wind up with a mess. But it is interesting how people care about that in the pictures they see, concerned about possible pain when no one has yet to prove when exactly a fetus CAN feel pain, while parents could care less when they spank that the kid DOES feel pain and cries their head off. Many would say well that's different. How dare you make the comparison. We KNOW that children feel pain when they've been spanked. It doesn't stop anyone from spanking that isn't needed but used because it's easier. No one cares about that kid's pain. If you believe that a late term aborted fetus feels pain and you're so concerned, then why aren't you sympathetic when your kids who DO feel pain cry on being spanked. Childrens' behinds aren't made of steel. You don't want to be spanked, why do you think kids should enjoy it. It hurts!
Pro-abortion and pro-choice aren't separate. It's only one. Pro-choice! We have the right to control what we carry IN our bodies. No one asks your permission. Motherhood IS pro-choice just like fatherhood is pro-choice. Neither are programmed by instinct to have children. THAT'S a choice. Women can say yes, I'm pro-choice. She should have an abortion if she wants. I choose NOT to have an abortion and raise it or give the baby up for adoption.
Men don't care whether other men have vasectomies. They can believe in vasectomy or not. But they always respect a man for MAKING his choice without that man having to defend, justify, or apologize for it. Men could care less if their fellow men have vasectomies so they don't make children. That's NOT the case with women. Everyone else forces their brand of pro-choice. I choose for you NOT to have an abortion. But of course, what happens to the baby after, that's on you. Have an abortion I'll villainize you. Don't have an abortion, I'll villainize you for having another baby. You're damned if you do, damned if you don't. But no one villainizes parents who give UP their kids like they're disposable and no one divides them on which Class is worse for doing it. So educate yourselves. Pro-choice is NOT pro-abortion. Abortion is just the aftermath OF choice that women are entitled to, just as men are entitled to make it so they can't have kids.
Some say of women who are deemed to have too many kids or abortions they shout "Get her sterilized!" I always hear that from men. But men don't scream at other men many of which don't hang around to raise their kids, "Get sterilized!"
Then you have men who say "Keep your legs closed!" so you don't get pregnant. No one forces you Mr. Man to jump into those open legs. No one ties you up and forces you to have sex with her.
Well lady there's so many forms of birth control out there! Use them so you don't get pregnant! Most of that garbage comes from men. OK all you men saying that, now what's YOUR brand of condoms called again? Oh right! You conveniently forgot them!
It's interesting how men are the ones whining how women should be on birth control. If you have a history of migraine birth control pills can give you heart attacks, blood clots, and stroke. You think women should stick something up them? Interesting. Don't see you inserting those things. Don't see you caring if women have infections because of it. You won't stick anything up your member, why should women stick things up them? Wear a condom! If you're allergic to latex they have goatskin or something else you can use.
Well women, just don't have sex you won't have an unwanted pregnancy. But it's YOU, men, who find it more difficult to keep it zipped, it's YOU, men who are outraged about your erectile dysfunction. You want to always be able to have sex, but she can't? You want her to use birth control, but offer you a condom and you run like scared rabbits. You don't want the responsibility on birth control. It's not a one way street.
I don't know if sterilization can be reversible. I only know that my tubes were cauterized. I don't know if that's the only way any more than I know a vasectomy has to be done a certain way to be for good or if it's always reversible. I CHOSE to have sterilization and it took three years to get! Some among the cruel would say good you shouldn't have children. I would say who are you to decide which woman is worthy TO have kids. You wouldn't even bring it up if a man chose to make it so he can't be a father. And let's be clear on WHO makes a baby. Women don't 'make' babies. We have the egg and we have a womb. But without being fertilized which only a man can do, nothing happens. We can't physically decide whether that one sperm gets into the egg, nature does.
There's no time stamp on a womb that says OK gang, I've had enough. I'm only limited to one abortion. Wombs are pretty tough. It doesn't fall into a mound of jelly with what some would decide is too many abortions or too many kids and unless it has to be removed in a hysterectomy along with everything else no ethical doctor will do it unless there's absolutely no other alternative.
Paying for abortions you need to be educated on. You assume you're paying for abortions because of Propaganda. Isn't it interesting how everyone squawks about paying for others' abortions but no one says my goodness, we're all paying for HIS vasectomy! You don't know he got one nor care. You don't care what Class he's from either. I paid for my own abortion. Until I told you I had one, you never knew, so don't give me this rag about you're paying for abortion any more than you're paying someone's bill at an ER. No one says for heaven's sakes, when Mr. Jones went to an ER, we paid for it. You didn't know or care. ER's can be utilized by ANYONE. You don't see any signs that say "I'm Middle Class, I'm Poor" when people go to an ER. No one calls you up and says "Hey Phil! I'm off to the ER now! Get out that checkbook!" Your medical insurance rates rise because that company CAN raise them. Medicine has always been for profit. Hospitals don't hand you a list with a hundred thousand names so you can complain about who goes. Medical Insurance Companies won't hand you a list and it says 'that' group went to a personal doctor. But villainizing those who go to ER's is only projected as only a Poor thing because we're the chosen target to pick on. No one has ever paid my ER bills but me because I'm Poor, no one but me paid for my abortion and no one knew about either until I tell someone! The same goes for abortion. Until Media villainizes a certain group of people, you don't know what they do, where they go for anything to feed discrimination.
The decision OF abortion to some is easy to make and go through. For me, my decision was easy but going through it was tough because it was an operation of sorts. Let's say you want to be bold for once and say "I'll try skydiving! I'm scared to death of heights but I want to do this anyway." You get all the gear on, you're taught how to do it. You get in that plane, door opens and do you immediately jump out? Some will without hesitation. Others are hesitant. But you wanted to do it. One may have no difficulty making the decision of abortion, some do have a problem making the decision of abortion. Some make the decision of abortion and go through it without a hitch, for others going through it is just as tough as making the decision. But we both HAVE that choice available. It's like an unwanted birth. Some would say take my baby and adopt it out. I don't want to see it. Others want to hold the baby for a while then hand it over for adoption. Decisions are always two fold. Some are easy to make and go through, some are easy to make and hard to go through.
The mistake comes when people TELL women how they're supposed to feel. You MUST feel guilt, sadness, shame, regret with abortion. You must NOT be OK with it. I had no problem with my decision for an abortion. It was an operation so that part wasn't easy as I'd never had an operation. My doctor didn't bring up Sonograms nor did I know they existed. I didn't feel guilt or sadness for doing it. What I was angry about was when he told me at 12 weeks the fetus was just a clump of cells and when I saw a documentary of birth and saw what a 12-week-old fetus looked like, yes I lost it. I lost it because my doctor lied and didn't respect me to show me a picture of what a 12-week-old fetus looked like. Perhaps he thought I'd change my mind which I wouldn't have. I was 28-years-old, not an 8-year-old. He lied to me. THAT was my problem.
Have I felt shame like I'm 'supposed' to for doing it? No and never will. Do I feel guilt like I'm 'supposed' to imposed by many on women? No. Do I feel regret like I'm 'supposed' to imposed by many on women? No. The only sadness and anger I felt was after seeing a documentary of what a 12-week-old fetus looked like and it wasn't just a clump of cells. I was saddened that the doctor didn't think much of me to tell me the truth imposing how he thought I'd react instead of giving me that choice by showing me either a Sonogram or a book picture, and angry that he didn't recognize that I was 28-years-old who deserved to be told everything and not patronized by withholding.
No one will impose how I'm supposed to feel or presume to know how I'll react by not even giving me a choice to react at the time. When it comes to abortion, women are demanded to feel guilt, shame, sadness, regret. We don't, then we're called unfeeling. But no one dictates how a man is supposed to feel. When a man who didn't feel like using a condom ignorantly expecting all the birth control be on her and doesn't want a child from his girlfriend and says "You have to get an abortion!" not caring how she feels, he feels no sadness, regret, shame, guilt and no one imposes it on him. When HE wants an abortion it's OK. When SHE wants it, problem for many. Educate yourselves on the fact that women don't need to explain, defend, justify, apologize for having an abortion. We don't nor ever needed permission.
There's a bit of irony in my story. One abortion doctor turned me down because of religion. Another doctor had no problem. My father and mother were amazingly supportive. Dad always said "The greatest gift a woman can give is children." But he supported me. He was born in the 20's. My mother was born in the 30's. They were from an era where I doubt you could even speak the word abortion. Mom got married and had kids because that's what you were "supposed to do." I asked her once if she had a choice would she have gotten married and had children and her answer was no. I was surprised because mom was never influenced in her actions. I guess she had that one little bit of Societal programming.
Ironically it didn't take long to find an abortion doctor in 1987. It took THREE years to find someone who'd tie my tubes! How ironic that there are those who have a problem with abortion, which is legal, then yell at women for making it so they can't have children EVER. But if a man chose not to have kids by getting a vasectomy, his choice isn't questioned, he doesn't have to search for three years to get someone to do it for him. Both abortion AND tubal ligation are legal, yet still we run into problems. I don't know if tubal ligation is easier to get now than in 1990 when I had mine. Let me also note that the doctor who did my tubal ligation almost killed me with anesthesia as he was too lazy to actually weigh me to get the proper dose of anesthesia per pound, and when I finally did wake up the nurse told me how worried she was because I almost didn't wake up. No one bothered to give me something to wake me up quicker. I knew something was wrong just before I nodded off as to this day I can still remember the taste of the anesthesia.
Before I got an abortion the nurse was instructed to explain the procedure. But she tried to lecture me on adoption and I had to interrupt her. I didn't care what her thoughts were for abortion. Her job was to explain the procedure and not bombard me with her politics I didn't care about. She was shocked when I stopped her. I made it clear that if she didn't want to explain the procedure, find someone there who would.
But had a man come into the office and she was to explain his vasectomy procedure, she wouldn't try to force her politics on him. She'd explain what he'd go through and that would've been the end of it. If that's not sexist I don't know what is.
There's only one difference between illegal and legal abortion. Safety and survival.
Picking and choosing why an abortion is done you need to be educated on. Women are in charge of their bodies, NOT you! Abortion isn't 'good' when HE wants it, 'bad' when she wants it. Stop saying "Well, that fetus is deformed. Abortion is NOW OK!" vs. "Your baby is perfectly fine. Have it whether you want it or not but don't ask US to raise it. We just want you to have it!" And what do you call "deformed" that you don't want to have running around! I knew a girl at my high school girl boarding school whose left hand was nothing more than a stump with bud fingers. Did they know before she was born with tests? I don't know as I met her in '75 when I was 16. Adrian played basketball, she played the piano and very well with BOTH hands. She was an excellent student. It was a curiosity to me when I first saw her hand because I'd never seen that before, I could tell she sensed it but I saw how it didn't bother her and I quickly forgot about it. You would call that a deformed child. Abort it. I don't want to see it. She'll have problems doing things. But you never met Adrian. She was cool! She was popular and made friends with everyone including me.
Down Syndrome kids aren't defective because they have an extra pair of chromosomes. They can be taught. They're the most loving, trusting people I've ever met and as kids, helped to student teach. You don't have the right to insist THAT child be aborted because YOU can't handle it, while lecturing a woman for aborting a perfectly fine child she doesn't want to have. Educate yourselves on the fact that abortion isn't pick and choose according to your criteria any more than you think you're entitled to tell how many kids parents SHOULD have. It's always interesting how people say abortion is awful have kids whether you want them or not, BE a parent because I say you should, yet are the first to chime "Don't tell ME how to be a parent." Don't tell women they have to be a parent because she's a woman. That's your lot in life to BE a woman while a man isn't compelled to BE a father, because he's a man. Some men certainly don't let their gender stop them from being deadbeat dads and walking around condomless thinking birth control is just a woman thing.
Then you have those that get mad at someone and say "Your mother should've aborted you!" You despise abortion on one hand, then flippantly hurl it when it suits when you don't like someone.
Minding your own business on abortion you need to be educated on. You believe in birth control? Great! BOTH of you practice it. Have a problem with others not using it? It's none of your business until you personally buy birth control for others and NOT just women. Get educated on the fact that you're NOT paying for abortion and stop letting Propaganda make your decisions about it. Abortion is available. Women choose to get one or not. It's legal. But people are trying to put what I feel are illegal limits on it while no one puts illegal limits on vasectomies. Roe vs. Wade said we had the right to an abortion. There was nothing about whether the fetus felt pain, nothing about waiting 24 hours, nothing about you must have a heartbeat and listen to it, there was nothing about being forced to have a Sonogram so you can try to change minds. It was just that we could have a legal abortion. There's only one difference with abortion between when it was illegal and after Roe vs. Wade. It's not done in back alleys and SAFER. Are there more abortions after Roe vs. Wade than before? Some will try to cook the numbers to show that. You have no clue how many really get them as they don't call you up, text you, and say "OK! I'm here! I had to take a number. I'm 354." In the time I wrote this who knows how many abortions were done. It didn't give you indigestion, your mortgage payment is still the same amount it was last month, your tax refund amount hasn't changed, utility bills are still on their way to you, the sun is still shining and the earth is spinning as usual. In short, unless someone tells you they've had an abortion, your life isn't affected one darn bit!
It never ceases to amaze me how people suddenly get so moral and ethical when it comes to abortion, displaying such faux concern over the welfare of a fetus, but have no problem whatsoever when it comes to the buying and selling of unaborted children that we call adoption.
The only difference between the so-called black market selling of children and babies and 'legal' adoption is WHO gets paid for it! Both are the same. Kids are bought and sold like property. Kids aren't handled for free.
Have a Right To Life Complex that's full of love and compassion? Exercise that Right To Life Complex and prove your love and compassion by adopting and raising all the unwanted babies, tots, and teens, who rot in Children Services who weren't aborted since you have no problem with buying and selling children in what's called adoption!
The fetus you care and love so much are safe aren't they! They can't talk to you or back talk you. They can't see you. But as soon as they take their first breath, where are YOU! Where are YOU when they're handed over because mom and dad don't want them! Where's your love, compassion after that unwanted, unaborted baby takes their first breath!
You have a problem with abortion acting all moral and ethical yet have no problem with people profiting off the buying and selling of children like they're property calling it adoption, considering it normal to pay for children you insist be born! The only difference between so called 'legal' adoption and black market baby selling is WHO collects the profit OFF that child. You don't want women having abortions? See how far you get trying to take her unwanted baby to raise for FREE and tell me how you're so much more ethically moral for your having to PAY for a child like property! I have no doubt that kids who are up for adoption are put on display so prospective parents can 'window shop'. If the kid doesn't work out, like dogs and cats at a Shelter, they're brought back if they don't get along.
I've had a lot of adoptees get outraged when I criticize adoption. "I love my adoptive parents!" Great! But you were lucky you weren't taken by an abusive couple. It's like being a Foster child. You can be handed over to Foster parents who treat you like they're own as easily as you can be Fostered by abusive people whose only goal is to be paid. You weren't taken for free in either case. Fees were paid for you by your adoptive parents, you were 'sold' because you weren't wanted.
Abortion is so unethical to most? So is 'shopping' for a kid! Foreign kids are great for 'shopping'. BUYING what I call a novelty kid. That kid is profited off of. We're taught to consider buying a kid like luggage in what we call adoption as normal while abortion is demonized.