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Retirement Party

Story ID:9799
Written by:Monte Leon Manka (bio, contact, other stories)
Story type:Story
Location:Corona CA. USA.
Person:Retireing Chelsea Kansas Kid
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Living in a small town of 12,000 and knowing almost everybody by name, was a lot of fun and a lot of work. The retiring businessman was looking forward to the party being held for him at the local Elks club. The retirement party was a black tie event and he was having trouble with his tie. The young girl came into the room, tied the tie and told him how nice he looked.
He knew what was going to be said about him and he was going to hate every minute of it. He knew that the local populace would say nice things about him and he hated to have someone brag on him.
As he sat down on the couch to await the dinner, he thought about the times past and the people that would be there. Bertha Chaste, the Chairperson, Freddy Propper the Vice Chairperson and George Dewgood the Treasurer chairperson of the city council.
His Lodge Brother John Tellall would be there Elk Antlers and all with the regalia of a past Ex-Salty Rooster.
His employees would be there. They would lock up the Saloon for the night for the first time to be at his side during the brag fest.
He backed the 1957 Chevy into the street and headed for the Auditorium of the Elks Club where the party was to be held. When he got there he was ushered to the stage, by the back door, and to the chair of honor that was set for him. The curtains were closed and he could hear the murmur of voices coming through the curtains. He thought there must be a large crowd to make all that noise.
The curtains were opened and with the light in his eyes he could not see past the front row.

Chairperson Bertha Chaste with a bang of the gavel, called the meeting to order. Bertha was a
Big woman and when she hit the dais with the gavel everyone in the building jumped.
As she started off- “We are gathered here to honor this man for his integrity, honesty, ethics, etc. etc.”
As she droned on the businessman was thinking about how he started on his career by being a traveling salesman.
Back in “06” when I started my career I had financed a horse drawn buggy and started out with Watson, a company that sold everything but clothes.
I got in trouble because I was accused of doing more than selling with the farm wives that were my customers. Of course it was not true.
Freddy Propper stood and started by telling that he had known the retiree for years and years and how trustworthy he was---
As he started his harangue the business man thought about his stint of selling cars. He was the salesman of the month until his conscience got to him. He knew he was selling cars that were in terrible shape. The dealer he worked for would give the old cars a paint job and put them on the line as new. When he sold a car to an old couple and it broke down a block from the dealer he quit. The car was warranted for ˝ block and they broke down a block away.
George Dewgood stood after the applause died down and told of how he had known the businessman since he was a kid.
The businessman thought how he would like to see the crowd but the spotlight kept him blinded and he couldn’t see past the front row.
He was thinking about the Saloon that he won in a poker game and had made it one of the most profitable businesses in town.

John Tellall was next to say a few words. He said that the businessman was one of the greatest
members, one of the greatest contributors, the kindest etc. etc. etc.
After all were done it was the businessman’s turn to speak. The applause was thunderous when he stood and took his place at the dais.
Thank you Bertha Chaste. I appreciate the nice things you said about me. I knew you when you were taking trips to the big city. I found out that you were meeting a man there, not your husband, and I think that I should cleanse my conscience. I was tempted to call your husband but he was seeing Katie Kuddle. Bertha slammed her gavel on the floor and stomped off the stage in a huff.
Thank you Freddy Propper. You were nice; I appreciate your kind words. I knew you when you started stepping out on your wife, not with another woman but a man. Freddy you are not propper. Freddy slinked off the stage. The other two left were getting more and more uncomfortable all the time.
I want to thank you George Dewgood. George got up and left the stage. The business man said I knew George when he played with matches. I know of several buildings that he started on fire. I caught him as he was going to torch my saloon.
John Tellall was the man who introduced me to the BPOE. I want to thank him for the companionship that he showed me. John stood, approached the dais, took out a gun and killed the bussinessman, then turned the gun on himself. The crowd oohed and aahed gave them a round of applause and left the theater.
Monte L Manka 05-12-00