Our Echo
Title, story type, location, year, person or writer
Add a Post
View Posts
Popular Posts
Hall of Fame

My Autocatography (Part one)

Story ID:9869
Written by:Charles Dishno (bio, contact, other stories)
Story type:Biography
Location:Dillon Montana USA
Person:Max the cat
View Comments (4)   |   Add a Comment Add a Comment   |   Print Print   |     |   Visitors
This story may be a bit long but I am sending it in installments...This is part one.

My Autocatography (Part one)
By Max - As meowed to Chuck Dishno
The Beginning…

I was born sometime in August 1996 to a beautiful Seal Point Siamese lady near Phoenix, Arizona. I’m not sure who my dad was since there were several around but he must have been a Seal Point too. I don’t remember too much about me early weeks with my siblings except we all got along fine. There weren’t too many in my litter so there was no fighting over the nipples. I do remember that my mom had the sweetest milk and I loved to latch onto that titty and nurse to my hearts content. I soon learned to make bread while drinking to get a better flow of milk. I guess that just comes natural for us cats and I always tried to keep my sharp claws retracted in order not to hurt my mother. Later in my life I even heard that “big cats”, like lions and tigers do the same thing. Wow, what a kick that must be!

The next couple of months consisted of nursing, sleeping and playing with my brothers and sisters. I really learned to fight and wrestle with them. When we would get too rambunctious, Mom would give us a whack and send us rolling. I got my share of whacks too. As soon as we got our kitten teeth mom started to wean us. I can understand this as it must have hurt to have those sharp teeth clamping down on those tender nipples. The “house mother”, Daune, who owned my cat mom, was a nice lady and the first human being I knew. She and her husband, Austin, lived in a nice Spanish style house with terrazzo floors. We weren’t allowed outside since the was a high desert area and there were Coyotes out there. I didn’t know what Coyotes were but I figured it must be something bad. Mom said they were like dogs, what ever that was, and they liked to eat cats and kittens. She put it very graphically when she said we would soon be turned into furry Coyote droppings and left on the desert floor. That really scared me and I never even went near the door. I did look out the window though but never saw anything that I thought looked like a Coyote, not that I would know one if I did.

Life in that big house was really fun and we spent much of our time chasing each other and rolling around on those cool floors. Daune played with us a lot and used to roll us around on the floor and rub us with her bare feet. This was so pleasing to me, I would run ahead of her and flop over on my side just to get a rub. I continued this for the rest of my life.

It soon became apparent that my siblings were slowly disappearing. I didn’t think too much of it at first but when it came down to just a sister cat and me I began to worry.

One day I heard Daune talking to someone on the telephone. I heard her say, “Well we don’t sell our kittens to just anyone, you have to come over and we will check you out.” This got me to thinking about my future and what might be about to happen with my life. I loved it there and didn’t want to leave but “a cat must do what a cat must do” and I realized I didn’t have much choice over the situation. My sister and I talked it over and we decided that if we didn’t like the person who came to adopt us, we would just be nasty and bite them or something even worse if we could think of what else we might do. My sister thought that throwing up on their lap might be the thing to do but I vetoed that as I was sure I could think of something much worse when the time came. Needless to say we didn’t get much sleep that night, dreading the next day and what might come. Daune seemed to love us up even more and that concerned us too. We got up early the next morning and kept looking out the window for some strange car to drive up. By noon no one had come by and we began to relax a little. We had a great lunch and Daune rolled us around with her bare feet even more often than usual.

About one o’clock I heard the strange sound of a car in the driveway, then the doorbell rang and I knew something was about to happen. I ran and hid in one of the back rooms when I heard Austin open the door. We were peeking around the corner and I saw this fat man with a fuzzy beard come into the room. The lady with him was beautiful, but I didn’t care for the looks of that man at all. They sat down on the sofa and Daune, called for us kittens. We tried to hide but she soon found us and bought us in to meet those people. My sister kind of hung back but I just told myself, “Oh what the heck, I might as well get it over with, If that fat man tries to pick me up, I will just let go with a load of fresh cat food and he will drop me then I will take off for the back room.” As it happened, the nice lady picked me up and was so nice to me I just curled up on her lap and went to sleep. I think, the fat man tried to pick up my sister but she wouldn’t have anything to do with him. It wasn’t long before I decided that this might not be to bad after all. I guess I could get used to him as long as I had that nice lady’s lap to escape to once in while.

After a while I heard the fat guy and Austin talking and the deal was made for $95.00. I would have thought I was worth more than that but what does a cat know about money. I guess it must be figured in cat years – in that case I must be worth about $700.00. Now that’s more like it! At any rate after the deal was made my new mom picked me up and carried me outside to a huge pickup. I sure was scared when I got outside and kept looking for those Coyotes I had heard about. My sister was in the other room when we left and I didn’t even get to say goodbye to her. I’m sure she thought I had been eaten by those dratted Coyotes.
A New Beginning…

The next thing I knew I was stuffed in a small cage on the back seat of that pickup and the door was shut. My new parents said goodbye to Austin and Daune and then all hell broke loose. My new dad, I found out his name was Chuck, started the pickup and what a racket! Daune reached in and petted me and said goodbye and we were off. Not to be outdone by that noise I immediately started to yowl. I really let them know I was there and I wasn’t about to let up. If you have ever heard a Siamese cat yowl you will know what I mean. When I want to I can reach some pretty high decibels and this seemed to be the occasion to try and break the record. I heard Chuck say that he hoped that I wouldn’t keep it up for the 180 miles back to Yuma. Now being a cat, I didn’t know what a mile was but I was determined to try. He started counting my yowls and said I was doing about 90 per mile. This really got me going and I stepped up the volume and count. I will have to admit that I was getting tired after a couple of hours but wasn’t about to stop. Finally I heard him say that we were in Yuma (what ever that is) and would soon be home. Only then did I lighten up a little, after all I didn’t want of get them mad at me. I was too curious as to what my new home would be like.

Finally, he turned into a driveway and shut off that stupid truck. At that time I became very quiet and the nice lady, (I knew by this time her name was Roz), opened up the cage and gently picked me up. I began to purr as she stroked my fur. We then went into this small house they called a trailer and when she opened the door my heart just about stopped. There, standing in the door, was the biggest and furriest thing I had ever seen. All I could think of was those Coyotes Daune had mentioned. I was sure that this was one of them and they had just bought me to feed that thing. I didn’t get much better when Roz put me down on the floor and tried to introduce me to that thing that they called Amy. They said she was a cat but I wasn’t too sure. I had never seen so much long, white fur in my short life. All the cats I knew were gray and white with short hair. Amy didn’t improve the situation either as she growled and hissed at me every time I looked at her. In retrospect, I think she was just curious about me and wanted to establish her place right away. I wasn’t about to let her get away with it though and growled and hissed right back. I figured it was a losing battle but what the heck, I might as well die trying. My aggressiveness seemed to work somewhat as she soon backed off and went into the other room. My new mom, Roz, showed me around the place and where the food and water was. This interested me since I was hungry and thirsty from all that yowling. After I had filled my tummy I felt the urge to use the cat box. Of all places, it was hidden in the bath tub but I just said, “What the heck, when you gotta go you gotta go” so I jumped in and tried it out. It wasn’t too bad but smelled like that other cat, Amy. How indignant to have to share my personal duties with that thing! I wish it had a toilet lid that I could leave up just to aggravate her. I did leave a trail of kitty litter outside the box though just to let her know that I had been there.

All went well that evening even though Amy and I got into it on several occasions. In thinking back she probably couldn’t figure what I was either. I did establish the start of a great relationship with my new dad, Chuck. He would pick me up and cradle me in his arms and stroke my head. He began to tell me how much he missed his old cat, Sam, and how I would fit right in and be loved just as much as Sam was. That made me feel right at home and eased the fact that I would never see my sister again. I was sure I was going to like him. He also told me that my name was to be Maximilian or Max for short. I thought that name was great and very macho. Maximilian was kind of sissy but Max said it all. I could now go up to Amy and growl with authority! It probably wouldn’t scare her but maybe it would let her know that I had balls, at least for the time being, but that’s another story that will come later.

I will have to say that for being 4 months old I was very small and skinny. I felt OK but my eyes were always leaking and this worried Chuck and Roz. A few days later they took me to a lady veterinarian named Dr. Hougo. She was a nice lady and treated me nice. I didn’t even mind when she stuck that cold thermometer up my back side. She called later that day and said that I had Clamedia or something like that. It’s hard word for a cat to pronounce and even harder to spell. She gave Roz some pills for me to take and that seemed to help.
Heading for Montana…

We stayed around Yuma for a few more days than Chuck said it’s time to head for Montana. I had no idea where or what Montana was and wasn’t too excited about getting into that noisy pickup again so I began to practiced my yowling. I had gotten a sort throat from all those decibels I had tried to hit on our last trip and I wanted this one to be even louder. Amy just looked at me and wondered what was going on. When ever she would meow, it was so soft I could hardly hear it. I just thought, boy, what a wimp. If that is all the noise you can make you must really be a girl. My sister would be ashamed of her.

I didn’t look forward to the next day dreading that cage and drive again – as it turned out things were even worse than I expected. Early the next morning Chuck went outside and started up the pickup and I thought oh, rats, here it comes. But instead of Roz carrying me out, she was busy putting everything away in the trailer. Outside I could hear Chuck moving the pickup and pretty soon the trailer began to rock & roll. There was a terrible crashing and banging but it soon stopped and Chuck came back in. By this time Roz had most of the stuff put away and the sliding doors locked. Before she locked the one into her bedroom she put Amy and I on the bed. This concerned me as I really didn’t want to be locked up with that wimp. I tried talking to Roz but she just ignored me and said I if I got too scared just get under the bed. I thought that the cat box would be a safer place, albeit a little stinky, but before I could do anything she had locked the sliding door to the bathroom and I was stuck up there with you know who. I heard Roz and Chuck go outside and soon the trailer began to move. It started to rock & roll then and never stopped. I looked over at Amy and she was asleep. Apparently she had been in this situation before and knew what to do. I would have loved to curl up with her but at this point that was out of the question, after all I was the macho one. I just lay on the bed and tried to sleep but always with one eye open. I began to wonder what I had gotten myself into by crawling up on Roz’s lap and winning her over. Oh, how I wished she were here now to hold me and tell me all was going to be alright. I had only known Roz for a few days and I already loved her and knew she would be protector, especially from that “white thing”.

To be continued…
If you like this, part two will be coming soon.