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My Autocatography (Part six)

Story ID:9892
Written by:Charles Dishno (bio, contact, other stories)
Story type:Biography
Location:Dillon Montana USA
Year:1996
Person:Max the cat
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My Autocatography (Part six)
By Max - As meowed to Chuck Dishno

Christmas in Yuma…

It was hot when we first got here but by the middle of December the weather was cooling off. I guess it wasn’t that cold like my first winter in Dillon but you must remember that I don’t have much fur so I was always looking for a place to keep warm.

One day I heard Chuck say it was almost Christmas. Now I vaguely remember Celebrating Christmas in Dillon but I was pretty young then and didn’t know what it was all about. Amy said I should be really excited because there would be a visit from Santa Claus. I thought she said sandy claws and said I could have sandy claws when I used the potty box if Dr. Nelson had not performed surgery on them.

When she said that it was “Santa Claus” and he was a big fat man in a red suite and he usually visited on Christmas Eve to put presents under the tree. Amy said the tree was a big green thing that had balls on it. Now she really peaked my interest. Do you think that I might just find my balls on that Christmas tree? Amy said I was just being wishful and as near as she could remember these balls were large and shinny and were of many colors. I don’t remember too well what my lost “treasures” looked like but I wasn’t about to be particular and would accept just about anything, even shinny ones.

Amy said that we were supposed to put a plate of cookies and a glass of milk out for him to eat since he had traveled such a long way he would be hungry. I got to thinking that if every house put cookies and milk out for him, it was no wonder he was so fat. Amy then told me that I shouldn’t say those mean things since he kept a list of who was “naughty and nice” and she sure didn’t want to see my name on that list. I have always tried to be nice but sometimes can’t help myself and slip. I’m sure my name was on the list but I just thought, “What the heck, nothing ventured, nothing gained”, so I decided to leave the treats. I started putting aside some kitty cookies and someway I would try to get some milk to leave for him. If he didn’t leave me anything I could always eat the treats the next morning. Amy also said that Santa Claus made his rounds in a sleigh pulled by eight Reindeer. They all had weird names which I can’t remember but one was called Rudolph and had a bright red nose that lit up in the dark. I thought, “Wow that must be great to have a nose that glowed in the dark.” I can just imagine me sitting on my potty box with my nose sticking out and glowing bright red. I could double as a night light for Chuck and Roz.

That evening, Christmas Eve, Chuck and Roz went out to a potluck dinner in the the park. I didn’t know what a potluck was so I just added another word to my vocabulary. Whatever it was, it sounded good and I could tell from the smell coming in the vents of the trailer that it must have been something to eat, which always interested me. They were making quite a racket too and I was afraid that they might scare off the fat man in the red suit with those Reindeer. About 2 hours later Chuck & Roz came home and they smelled good. Not quite as good as when they had been to Long John Silver’s but good anyway. I heard them say that the turkey and ham were good and there were lots of food left over. I was a little disappointed that they didn’t bring any to us but I figured that maybe we weren’t supposed to have “people food” at this young age. I did get a sniff of their hands and I could tell they had enjoyed themselves. Even Chuck, beard smelled like what I later learned was turkey and I liked it. I hope when I get older and they let me have people food I can try some turkey.

All evening I kept looking for that Christmas tree with all those balls, hoping that mine just might be there, but no tree showed up. Finally Chuck and Roz went to bed and so did Amy and I. I was a little disappointed about the tree but I still had those deer to look forward to so I really practiced my “cat napping” which I was getting good at performing. Actually it wasn’t too hard to sleep fitfully with Chuck’s snoring coming out of the bedroom. I must have finally gone to sleep pretty hard and I woke up to a terrible clatter on the roof of the trailer. I woke up Amy and we watched and listened to the noise with rapt attention. We knew that any minute the fat guy would be coming through the skylight since there was no chimney or fire place. Don’t ask me how I knew about those things, it just comes natural with us smart Siamese cats.

I don’t know when it happened but it must have been while we were focusing our attention on those skylights that “he” arrived. I happened to look at the table and there, in a nice pile, were several wrapped presents and wonder of wonders, the cookies and milk were gone. Wow, that guy is fast!! I jumped up on the table and started to sniff the presents. Most of them didn’t have much smell but one had this stimulating odor that made me slightly dizzy when I breathed it in deeply. I rolled it over and to my surprise, the label said, “Merry Christmas, Max from Santa”. One other present made a tinkling sound like a bell when I batted it and upon further inspection I found that it was for Amy. I hurried up to the bedroom to wake up Chuck & Roz.

They were sleeping really hard but I finally got them going and they came down to the table. Roz insisted that we have breakfast before we opened the presents. I had a hard time waiting since my cat curiosity was at an all time high. I heard Chuck say to Roz, “Wow, did you hear those pigeons on the roof this morning; they were really making a racket.” He was so determined that they were pigeons that I didn’t have the heart to tell him that they were really Reindeer. I knew this to be true since I could see the glow of a red nose through the skylight. After what, seemed like an eternity, Roz and Chuck had finished their breakfast and Chuck was sitting in his big chair waiting for his presents. Roz started passing them out and she gave me mine first. I ripped off the ribbon and paper to find this cloth mouse that smelled like something I had never smelled before, I just thought, if that’s the way mice smell, I was really missing out on something. Mom said it was a cat nip mouse and I could bat it and play with it all I wanted. Amy tried to smell it but I was being selfish and told her to go play with her present which was a dumb old ball with a couple of tinkling bells tied onto it. Who wanted a noisy tinkling ball when you had an intoxicating mouse to bat around? I sure felt loved and guess I wasn’t on that “naughty” list of Santa’s after all. Chuck and Roz got something really nice and they spent the next few minutes kissing and telling each other how much they loved the other one. I knew that they love Amy and I too when they picked us up and told us “Merry Christmas”.

The rest of the day was spent playing with our new presents and eating good food. I didn’t even mind that I didn’t get to see that tree with all those balls on it. That night I slept really deep and dreamed about those Reindeer on the roof and wondered how Santa made it down without me seeing him.
Frank and Eleanor didn’t show up for a week or more and I found out that they had gone back to Washington for spend Christmas with their children and grandkids. I just hope Santa Claus found them there and gave them many presents; he sure had been good to our family.

We were two happy and lucky cats and along with our parents we were known as the Dish-Cats!

That Dish-Cat name really hit us cats hard. We knew then we would be part of the family and loved forever. When Chuck saw the cat tears in our eyes he got out a piece of wood on which Roz had done some tole painting. Chuck went to his computer and printed out, The Dish-Cats-Chuck, Roz, Amy, and Max then had Roz trace them on the board. This was beautiful and he hung it on the front of the trailer to let all passersby know who lived there.

Wow, we were really proud. Here is a sigh painted in Norwegian folk art, by a Chinese lady, listing a fat French guy, a beautiful Chinese lady, a large Himalayan cat and a macho Siamese cat. How much more international can you get?

To be continued…